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GAUCHO
Doubt comes in on sticks but then he kicks like a horse.
"SOME JOIN HERDS SOME BOND." He bellowed, ears flat against his skull. If loyalty meant anything to anyone around here, Ampere would see the situations to be the same. Herds are joined for the valuable resources they provide, but the bonds formed upon joining were often disregarded as mere formalities. To join a herd and just leave ... what was that? Where Gaucho came from, such a thing was unthinkable. Only in rare cases, such as his own, could one leave their herd - their family - with impunity. Was it not the same with companion bonds? That once the decision was made between both parties it should remain until death takes one - or both?
For a moment he was glad that he couldn't see her. Glad that if he blocked Mara's eyes from his mind, that her blue form disappeared from the sands. He couldn't look upon her, because he knew that if he did he very well might kill her. A confused tension welled up inside of him, resonating in his very bones such that he felt as though he might explode outwards at any instant. How they had gotten here - how the flames of their passion had turned into something so dark and so twisted - he didn't know. His thoughts were like a rising crescendo in his ears and mind, ideas he wanted to say lost on words he couldn't articulate.
He didn't know. Didn't know the extent of her plight to save companions. He thought she merely looked out for those being mistreated as a result of their bond, not every creature who had bonded. If Gaucho had known ... would that have changed his actions? He didn't know, couldn't know. But for now in his mind, he clung to his ignorance. And in that ignorance he lost himself in bittersweet memories of her. Of the taste of her salty skin, seasoned with an electric blue that both cooled and stoked the fire inside of him. Of the way they had moved together once, and the way the words I love you had felt, unspoken, upon his lips.
At the time he didn't think they needed to be spoken, and now, in the midst of this betrayal and confusion, he selfishly cherished the fact that they never had. Still, the words scarred him just as surely as any other wound did, though never this deep. Tension descended upon his shoulders, as his wings negotiated their place against his flanks although never to his satisfaction.
He wanted to make her see that whatever wrong she had thought he committed he had done so non-culpably, but that would require conceding more than his soul could endure.
Returning his gaze to her in a sweep, he tried to pull from her the emotions that he was currently feeling, the want - the need - to remove from history the past 5 minutes and to start again. To re-calibrate and relight the flame. But in her eyes he only saw the reflection of his own flames. The flame she held for him was gone.
"This how you change it?" He inquired dryly, the depths of his gaze finding no home in her own. "You know Gaucho have Mara. Gaucho have Mara for years. Never say anything. Tavi have Natraj. Soh have Astra-" The list could go on, but he felt he had made his point. He hadn't been there during any of Ampere's rants or soapbox lectures, and she had never bothered to educate him.
"Not going to change the world by watching." He concluded darkly, still trying to contain the immense swell of emotion that was threatening to spill over at any moment.
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