The challenge was over and I was content to return home.

However, the heat of the arena and the flash of molten gold still lingered in my mind upon surpassing my viewers on my way to the Edge. Adrenaline and anger still burned through my veins but it was with new purpose that it ignited- an inferno. I’d been distracted in the midst of battle and I couldn’t seem to figure out why until I’d finally walked away, defeated.


Many had come to support me in my endeavors, but each one only served to open new holes in my soul until their guns had fallen from between their eager fingers.

My King had come to watch me fight, no doubt judging my technique and my inability to measure up to him in title or experience… but I hadn’t missed it. I hadn’t missed the troubled look in his eyes upon witnessing me fall at the hands off Thranduil… But was that the true source of his discomfort? I couldn’t be sure because in between desperate attempts to find Evangeline, I had seen Kaj as well. I had seen their exchange -as brief as it was- and there was something cold and temperamental that bloomed in my heart from the image. Evangeline had only been mine for a short time and I couldn’t bring myself to question whether there had truly been another before me… but what if there had?


I couldn’t say that I’d discovered anything of importance but there was certainly something dark and worrisome building within my heart that stemmed from seeing them together. Whether it was intuition of just jealousy I couldn’t tell, but it pained me to imagine my King unsettled by a mere fight… which made me think there was something more, something deeper that caused my chest to tighten and harden with a sudden, throbbing hate.

Had I been fooled once again? Was I doomed to face deceit over and over until I could no longer perceive its ugly disguise? Maybe I was just crazy… maybe I had imagined the look of defeat and the slump of his shoulders. Perhaps I was too distracted by battle to understand anything… But instincts had never served me ill. I did not stop for Evangeline and I did not stop for Cetan, but I did turn my eyes toward the sky- toward Kaj. Had I imagined the whole thing?

However, Kaj was not the only one I had noticed in between moments of utter devestation. Cetan had managed to observe my attempt to keep him safe and yet could not remain by my side when push came to shove. That alone made my blood boil, made me want to drag his ass back to sands and teach him a lesson myself. Perhaps it would help to ease the tension that flourished in my heart and made me momentarily bitter. That coward! How dare he take my generosity for granted!


I couldn’t walk comfortably with a strained back ankle, but I still sought to relieve myself of the many eyes seeking to greet me. I didn’t want any of it… and yet I wanted all of it. I wanted to punish Cetan, I wanted to question Kaj, and most of all I wanted to hear the truth from Evangeline. Was it truly that Kaj was disappointed in me for answering for Cetan or was it something else I’d seen in his gaze?

I needed a healer and I needed a friend but neither of those things were to be had until I knew what had been said while I had been busied with Thranduil on the sands. I only hoped that lies wouldn’t find their way to life before me… I wouldn’t accept them any longer.