Kaj & Kahlua

If her betrayal had hurt him, if her actions had ruined him, then his inaction in this moment was equally as destructive. He did not step forward to embrace her, he did not extend a wing to hide her from the cruelties of the world. She watched him intently, blue eyes scrutinizing him for a twitch of a muscle or bending of a joint- anything to indicate that he intended to move, to be something less than a stone in these moments. She found nothing. He was stoic, silent, as icy cold as the Frostheart himself. This Stormbringer stood in front of her motionless, except for the twitch of his ears against the grating music that she could not control, and she could do nothing about it.

For a moment she considered giving in, and moving forward herself, stepping towards him unsolicited and forcing herself under his wing, pressing against his side and feeling that warmth again- the way that her skin tingled when it touched his was intoxicating and her heart beat faster just thinking about it. He was her drug, in many ways, standing just out of reach when she needed him most. So yes, she considered stepping up to him, forcing him to come into contact with her, demanding that he love her when she was the most scared. And yet… would forcing him to touch her make him want to touch her? Would forcing him to be closer to her make him want to be close to her? She could not force emotions into him, try though she might. So she returned his stoic stance, desire racing through her but her body remaining still. If he could be a statue… so could she.

Except that she wasn’t as strong as she wanted to be, and she couldn’t be a rock. He spoke, but the distant way he said those words made it seem like he wasn’t even there. We always have a choice. Her ears fell back, her tail twitching violently around her hooves, the discordant song of nature not calming or swaying. We always have a choice? Her nostrils flared in frustration and angst- anger, even. In some ways, she hardly heard him as he went on. He would help her? Seek Resplendence and Aly? Did any of that even matter? He ended his words as a whisper, and it made the sharp, disgruntled sound of her voice all the more piercing as she shot back at him with narrowed eyes. “We always have a choice!??!” She stomped her hoof in unison with her last word, shifting her bulbous body to redistribute her weight.

“Were you there Kaj? Were you there? I didn’t think so. Who do you think you are to tell me that I could have stood before FATHER EARTH and said no? Have you ever said no to a god? Have YOU?” She began shifting back and forth more rhythmically, too worked up to stay in one spot. “Were you there when HOTOTO was killed, and the Lady Moon revealed that she had tricking Gaucho into committing the murders, and when the other gods banished her to the EDGE?!?” By that time, her chest was all but heaving as she finished, the sudden silence between them as deep and endless as a starless night. When she spoke again, her word was a venomous whisper, challenging him to defy her.

“I didn’t think so, Kaj.” Were her words purposefully biting, trying to make him hurt? No, that was well beyond her capacity, but her soul was broken and weighed down heavily with too much stress. She couldn’t help but release it upon him. “So next time you think you want to tell me I had a choice, that I could say no if I wanted to, maybe you should think again.” Another stomp of her hoof indicated the finality of her words, her ears still pined and eyes still narrowed as she continued to sway and shift. In some ways, she wanted to turn and stomp off, to leave him standing there dumbfounded by the weight of the words she had thrown at him, but she didn’t have it in her to walk away. She waited. What would come?