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02-23-2015, 11:07 AM
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Rhoa Like ships in the night I have been alone long enough now that is has become the norm, rather than the bane of my existence. I have experienced lost and friendship, and even though I still do not feel whole, at least I am moving on. I will never see Mother or Ivezho again, and I am coming to terms with that. I miss them terribly and often wonder where it is that they went and why they didn't want to take me with them, but I suppose some questions are just meant to be left unanswered. Father says they will return one day, but I've seen the way he looks at Ampere ... I've seen how he allows himself to look in a way that he never did with Mother around, or in the days after her departure. If he thought she would return - if he knew she would - then why did he allow himself to look? I sigh and merely continue on, content in my confusion and childlike view of the world. That's when I see it. See him. I would recognize that burning coat anywhere; it had not been out of my thoughts for more than a few hours a day, when life would pleasantly distract me from this hell that I've been living. "Iv-" His name forms on my lips and immediately drops to the sands. If this is a dream, I want it to last. I don't want to shatter whatever illusion I have blissfully walked into. I can feel my heart pounding - it feels so loud that I almost think my whole body is swaying with the motion. My ears ring, and the embered pattern on my wings flares bright and fast in time with my pulse. I want to run down to him, to release the energy that is within my body, but for some reason I think better of it. He is here? All along he was here? Or has he only just returned? Why didn't he find me? Why didn't Father tell me? Where is Mother? Suddenly I feel trapped, drowning in my own self conscious thoughts of betrayal and deceit. Was he just going to stroll back like nothing happened? After I had searched everywhere for him? Reality wells in my throat like a hard lump, and I am immobilized. I want to run to him, to be excited and to tell him how much I've missed him. But I also want to tell him that he's been a bit of a son of a bitch, as well. My wings spread from my flanks, feeling the ocean breeze waft under my feathers. Taking a breath, I lift off from the sand dune I am currently on, and glide down towards my twin. As I fly, I wonder, bitterly, if Ivezho has learned to fly as well as I have. He had Mother to teach him and she was always graceful, so I assume yes. I had no teacher, Father was always too busy being Father. I learned on my own. I did everything on my own. I land rather roughly in the sands near him. I can't dampen the bright spark of joy at seeing him in my eyes, but it's bitterly crowded by the pain and resentment that I've been feeling for all these seasons now. "Ivezho-" I say, wanting my voice to be strong and aloof, but feeling it shake and wobble with emotion. AHHH. SO ANGSTY. I'M SORRY. |
