Just the two of them hidden in the shroud of darkness, their companions nestled near, calm and quiet, gave Kahlua comfort. The darkness always made her nervous, the coming night a source of anxiety, because they meant nightmares would soon be upon her- dreams and memories replayed in her head. They had almost left her once, disappeared from her life at a time when she had actually been able to call herself happy, but that time was nothing more than a distant memory now. The Lady Moon ruled at night, but she could not save the Sunshower from the evils that awoke in her soul with each new period of sleep. Somehow, though, she did not feel nervous now. The darkness could come, and though she stood pressed against a killer, she did not fear for her life. The nightmares poked at the edge of her brain, trying to remind her that they would still be present when she slept, but for now she felt nothing but peace. Life was easy, at least for a time.

Around her, nature’s song became gentle, betraying her emotions as freely as her face did. What had been an agitated, uneasy collection of sounds became smooth. Dissonant noises melded together, a unit rather than a collection of individuals. On her basket, Khan shuffled his feathers, growing agitated with the harmony, and taking flight when he could stand it no longer. So in the seconds that Mauja was silent, pondering the question she had asked him, or perhaps choosing not to answer it at all, the queen closed her eyes and let her mind connect with the feathered blue’s. The result was both thrilling and terrifying.

The icedrake flew out over the water, wings taking him well beyond the safety of the cliffs, air rushing upwards from the churning sea below and holding him aloft. The closest she had ever come to flying was when she had taken the clouds up to the floating island, but even then she had not really been flying. She had been connected to the cloud, held in place, unable to move except where the cloud would take her. This was what true freedom felt like- dipping left and circling around, pulling up and flapping her wings to take her ever higher, spiraling up towards the starry sky, then turning around and freefalling, wings held to her side, diving towards the ocean with no regard for safety. Ever-closer, the ocean loomed, its hungry waves rolling and moaning in hunger, desiring to consume her entirely.

At the very last moment, Khan thrust his wings outward and pulled himself from his descent, whisking his body feet from the waters, mind joyous from the excitement. Mauja’s voice loomed then, slowly pulling her back to reality… her eyes fluttered open and once again she was on land. Not a bird or a dragon, not a pegasus… simply an equine- simply Kahlua. Nothing more.

But at least at this moment, curled up with the spotted man, she didn’t feel so plain. The rub of his nostrils over the curve of her ribs was comforting, or… something more? She shivered, involuntarily, a different sort of thrilling sensation. Maybe Bonnie and Clyde could work after all? “Walk with me,” she murmured softly, lipping at his mane a moment longer despite her words, hesitant to pull away from him. Still, the ocean called; Khan had reminded her of the cliffs and the wind, the crashing waves. Like there was some sort of magnetic force keeping her there tight against Mauja, she edged away slowly, blue eyes searching for his own for a moment, curious as to what she would find there, but expecting nothing except neutrality- it was all he ever offered.

Heading north, giving one last look to her basket, Kahlua moved by the light of the rock that Diego held. “Because I don’t know how to say anything but yes to them, and I don’t want to, but…” she hesitated, not because she was afraid of telling him, but because the feelings she held for the gods were deeper than she could ever explain. “They gave me everything, Mauja. I had nothing when I came here… I was nothing. And everything good that’s happened to me… it’s all been them, in one way or another.” To try and explain her devoutness was difficult because she didn’t really have words for it. It was something she felt in her heart and soul- an endless vault of something even stronger than love. “Mostly they work in the background. I never see them, but I always know they’re there, but…”

She sighed and looked to him for a moment, trying to find the words she wanted. “Every time they come to me directly and ask… nothing good ever happens. When the Lady Moon asked me to lead, when Father Earth asked me to carry his child… I don’t even want a child.” For a moment her voice had grown more insistent, more frustrated, but she shook her head and gathered her thoughts. “I did it for them- I had to. But maybe Kaj was right when he said I was just being selfish, and a child… Maybe I should have just said no. Except I don’t think that would have made me happy either…” When her words finally faded, the Sunshower at last found herself breaking through the tree line, the cliff just ahead, the last of the red sky conceding defeat to the blackness that was trying to overtake it.

The blackness settled in the sky the way that her depression settled upon her back- heavy and absolute, no clues or hints as to whether or not the sun would rise again. Was she destined to remain in this cage of emotion forever, or was this some temporary prison, holding her during her sentence for whatever crime it was that she had committed?

Kahlua

only light can drive out the darkness