"Sweet Christmas on a cracker!" she spat in annoyance. "The varmint's too fast!" The raccoon took off across the narrowest part of the brook and into the protection of the gnarled roots of an old tree. Once he'd deemed his hole secure, he took to squawking and hissing at her as she stared at him from above. "You think you've won, don'tcha?" Her accent had slipped into a rustic slur, all nobility forgotten. "I'm gonna save your stupid life if'n it's the last thing I do! You hear me?!"

Noble team Cheska and Auriel didn't have the luxury of companions to snag their ticket to paradise, but between them they had a few tricks, a handful of stories and the determination of a raging bull. While she was fairly certain that Earth God wasn't going to drown them over one missed task, it had quickly become a matter of pride. That brainless rodent's life was now in their metaphorical hands and they were going to bring him to the safety and delight of an all-day-all-night raccoon repopulation party, whether he liked it or not.

Those raccoons were such rascally creatures, even in all her stories, they were-

Her stories. Of course, her stories. She turned to Auriel with a start. "You know, I know a story about something just like this," she said, a secret smile playing around the corners of her mouth. "It will pass the time while we spring our trap." She gestured to a small island in the deep part of the little river, where the current turned a bit rough. Momentarily, she was lugging their trap across. Then, sure their prey couldn't see them from his stronghold, she covered it with a few leaves and twigs on the near side. The water rushed just below her knees. Perfect. The trap was set. Now all she required was the perfect timing. She led them to the opposite bank, just behind the raccoon's fortress of solitude, and she began her tale.

"You know, Auriel, in some stories, Raccoon was considered the cleverest of all animals. He could outwit any other animal and escape any trap that was laid for him. The animals of the forest were all eager to show up Raccoon and make a fool of him so that they would be considered even cleverer than he.

"Wolf was the first to try. One day, while Raccoon was catching fish in the stream, Wolf approached him. A fish would be a tasty snack right now, said devious Wolf. If you share one with me, I won't eat you. Raccoon laughed, for he knew wolf could never catch him. He took his hard-caught fish and escaped down into his den beneath an oak tree. Wolf dug and dug, but he could not move the tree's mighty roots aside, and each time he tried to chomp down on Raccoon, the little thief retreated further into the hole. Finally, Wolf decided that he would suffocate Raccoon first, so that he could dig him out and eat him whole.

"Wolf spent hours filling in the hole, trying to bury Raccoon. By sundown, he was huffing and puffing and very hungry, but pleased that he'd have a nice meal when he dug out his sly prey. Of course, Raccoon was still the cleverest, and when he climbed out of the knot in the tree he had ascended, he dropped acorns onto Wolf's head from above. Defeated, Wolf gave up his attempt on Raccoon. This is why Wolf no longer hunts Raccoon.

"Days later, Skunk decided to make his move to claim the title of cleverest creature in the forest. Raccoon was bathing in the shallows, washing his hands and face when Skunk approached. Oh, Raccoon, Skunk said, If only you'd let me use my special smoke, you would no longer have such messy bands. You could be sleek and black as crow himself. Raccoon laughed, for he was not fool enough to fall for such tricks. Still, he agreed and pretended to hold still while Skunk opened his mouth. Now, in these days, Skunk's signature spray was located in his mouth, and he could fire with great accuracy wherever he pleased. But Skunk's first projectile missed when Raccoon submerged himself in the water, letting the scent pass away above him.

"Angry, Skunk opened his mouth for a second spray, but Raccoon tossed the great wad of river sludge he was holding, and it stopped up Skunk's mouth to the quick. He was so stopped up that from that day forward, the scent had to come out the other side. This is why Skunk must turn to use his spray.

"Even Fox got in on the act, and Fox was considered a very intelligent beast by the other animals. They gave her their blessings, and soon she was off to outwit her competition. Surely it will be enough, Fox thought, if I could trick Raccoon out of a good dinner, as I don't want to hurt him. Raccoon had caught himself a fat, juicy lizard that day, and he was preparing it for supper when Fox approached. I have a special recipe for lizard, said Fox, just let me take your catch to the water and I will make it for you. Raccoon, still undeceived, agreed, and let Fox take his meal. Of course, Fox immediately ran off with the lizard.

"As she found her way back into her den, she bit into the fresh meal, but she chomped down hard and hurt her teeth. Her tail bristled like a brush instantly. Raccoon had filled the lizard skin with rocks, and eaten all the meat inside. Fox cursed him, and sulked off to nurse her tail. This is why Fox has such a bushy tail.

"Finally, Coyote came to the forest to visit his friends. Wolf, Skunk and Fox all told him of their tragic tales and Coyote nodded in understanding. I will snare the Raccoon, he said to them, and you will not have to be embarrassed any more. So Coyote went to the river. He did not say a word to raccoon, but snuck up behind him and let out a mighty howl. Terrified, Raccoon ran straight across the river and onto a small island in the middle. But Raccoon had not had time to outsmart this foe, and he found on the opposite side of his island a raging river. Trapped, Raccoon surrendered to Coyote. Now, Coyote said, It is I who will be known as the cleverest animal in all the forest. And he was for a very long time after that."

Now the sun had sunk just a little lower and Cheska no longer heard the frantic motions of her would be prey. "So you see, Auriel, the moral of the story... the most important part of outsmarting your competition... is HAVING THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!"

She reared up and her hooves landed squarely on the roots, snapping a few of the weaker ones outright. Startled from his complacency, the raccoon was off across the creek like a shot... and right into their trap. She gave a great heave of effort, relieved. "And that is how you catch a raccoon. Now the only question is where're we gonna find him a lady raccoon...?"

@[Auriel]; Ugh, sorry for the on-the-fly story. I usually edit them a lot more... ;_;