ODE
Realism [+2.5]
:: You weren’t supposed to take any damage in your post 2/3.
:: Good use of scenery in your final post! I love that Ode tried to drive her towards the hot springs.
:: I would have liked a lot more mention of previous injuries carried into subsequent posts.
:: Breed differences were mentioned, but they were really cursory. There was so much room to build on how strange it was to be fighting a tiger. I would have liked to see more of this!


Emotion [+1.5]
:: Not even death won over him. Love this!
:: You’d been telling me about Ode’s inexperience through the fight. The first time I really, honestly believed it was when he had a hissy-fit on the battle field and crow-hopped around in post 3/3. Great!
:: I can’t count it in your score, but the beginning of your defense post was brilliant!


Prose [+2]
:: The crimson paint was sure to decorate the world today, given the sizeable claws and fangs that his opponent bore. I don’t know if you meant that to have a double meaning or not, but it was so beautifully subtle that I couldn’t help but pull it out. Crimson paint meaning blood, of course, but also Ode could be called a crimson paint since he has the red medicine hat.
:: but neither did she perish beneath it's might its
:: That her spittle flecked his coat dis not phase did
:: wounded to the point was it was inflamed and throbbing, that it was?
:: Öde's airborne venture was shirt lived though, short
:: All throughout the fight you had a habit of switching from past to present tense. I think some of it is stylistic, but sometimes it was distracting.
:: Your posts didn't seem as well edited as I usually expect from you.


Readability [+2]
:: In your post 3/3 I was a little confused at first about how Saffron got behind Ode. Ultimately, I decided that it was because after his critical hit, Ode was still running, but I didn’t read it that way the first time and I didn't find it to be well-clarified in the writing.

Finally tally: 49.5+(8*2)= 65.5HP


SAFFRON
Realism [+1]
:: I wasn’t totally convinced that you took enough damage from Ode in your 1/3 post. Maybe if you had described the effects of Ode knocking the wind out of Saffron, and how that affected her subsequent attack, that would have helped. Otherwise, I thought it was a little lacking.
:: By your second post, I especially wanted to see Saffron take more damage. Ode just delivered a critical hit- Saffron should really be affected by this. And maybe she is, but I didn’t see it in your writing. Same for your third post.
:: I would have liked a lot more mention of previous injuries carried into subsequent posts- especially the critical hit.
:: Breed/species differences and scenery were mentioned occasionally, but both were cursory. I would have loved to see a lot more of both!


Emotion [+1]
:: I liked the way you set up to take the critical hit in your post 2/3. Saffron’s thoughts on strategy really helped me to understand why she wasn’t moving away.
:: Even so, all throughout the fight you keep telling me what Saffron is feeling, but I never really connect with her and believe that her emotions are motivating her actions.


Prose [+2]
:: The way you write Saffron reads very choppy. The prose lacks the flow I’ve come to expect from you.
:: He brushes my hide, knocking me slightly off balance so that I must retract my attack before I can do much damage, if any at all. Did I even strike? I can't be sure and I can't take the time to run some sort of inspection. I took this as trying to make up for the fact that Ode took damage when he didn’t need to. Mostly, I thought it just broke up your writing unnecessarily. If your opponent makes mistakes, let the judges deal with it.
:: My magic seems to have no affect on him Effect
:: Defeat at the hooves of Öde was perhaps more respectable concept a more respectable…


Readability [+3]
:: No comments or concerns.

Finally tally: 24+(7*2)= 38HP