White December

Her attempt to soothe had failed, in fact it had made him worse. He was rearing back and she was stepping back, the hurt evident in her gaze at his rejection. She couldn't keep fighting anymore, the emotions flooding her and begging to be expressed. She had done all she could to set up those damn walls, to keep herself distanced from everyone around her. Yet they longed to be brought down, for the floodgates to open so that he could see how much he truly meant to her. He had been a constant, something that she had grown to expect in her daily life, and she had grown to like it, even savor every moment. When they helped with the Earth God's tasks, she thought that had brought them closer, that after he had seen how she could be that maybe he understood, and would see that yes; she was a weirdo, but she was still capable of feeling like everyone else. What she hadn't expected was her words to calm him, to take away the bite and rage that seemed to be bubbling over from the smaller brute, and that was when the relief began to wash over. She had helped, she had done what she wanted by trying to soothe him. She had done a good deed for a good friend and now they could- Her thoughts suddenly crumpled into nothing at the final words he said.

Now she knew. He had meant everything that left his mouth and it took her a second to register; to let it sink in what exactly he was saying and when it did... it killed her. Broke any ounce of joy she had left in her miserable life and set it aflame, nothing but ash as a reminder of what she had. The final barricade broke and the emotions came, eyes springing with tears as they pooled with utter hurt and rejection, face cringing in what could be thought of as painful disbelief at what he said. She was backpedaling away from him, large hooves frantic as she tried to let it all go but it kept pushing and it needed to stop before she lost her mind. Her hind hoof slipped on the lip of the pond, causing her to slip and fall in, surfacing as a pathetic lump of wet and cold. After coughing out the water from her lungs and also fighting back a sob she turned to him, so grateful that her tears and the water intermingled well together. She took her time standing, slowly pulling herself from the cool depths and ignoring the weight that filled her entire being, physically and mentally. Steel eyes met white ones silently, pleadingly, as if that one look would make everything he said untrue and would be void. That he had been joking, that it was all a silly game and he had gotten her good, and they would say their cheery goodbyes and end the night like that. But things like that were always too good to be true for her, she would never be that lucky.

How she tried to keep her tone even, tried to bite back the anguish that filled her voice as she only responded with a single word: "Oh." What did she say now? What happened now? Did she just walk away, let him remain where he was and continue feel however he was feeling and return to her nest and crumple into nothing like she had done all those nights before? Her breathing had hitched, heavy and taught in her broad chest as her hazy mind whirred, trying to think of anything more to say, to make it okay for him to be honest with her. He didn't have to like her... no one did. It just hurt when she found out they didn't. She couldn't look at him when she spoke next, and so turned her white head to look into the starry sky, momentarily admiring the gentle glow they offered in their velvet blanket, before breathing out in tone more like her usual, "I apologize for assuming. I should have known that-" someone like me couldn't have friends. She swallowed hard. Once, then twice, then a final time before clearing her throat and lightly tossing a soaked forelock out of her gaze. Her hooves began to bring her backwards again, towards her safe haven where Carl was waiting, but she couldn't just run. She had to make it seem like nothing had happened, and to do that she had to remain casual.

"Is that all you needed?" she breathed out shakily, hoping that the whisper made it sound breezy, careless as if she could have gone either way on the subject matter he had dropped on her like a bomb. That it didn't tear her heart in two to know that the one person she thought she could rely on didn't think of her as anything. She didn't stop her moving, only continued to slowly inch herself back towards the trees while looking attentively at him, hoping that with the distance he couldn't see the tears or the pain in her dark eyes, and begged him to be quick so she could finally go back to bed and cry until no more tears would fall. He had succeeded in his mission at last, was he satisfied now?

"Speech"
Text
Thought

{WC: 897
Tag: @[Rostislav]
OOC: jkgndkjgjrgj