“No, shut up, I’m not doing it again.”

….

“No, hush, just shut up.”

….

“You can just fuck off I’m not doing it again, okay?!”

…

“You just—AWGHGH—“

Like, I understand that it was pretty weird that I was in the middle of a field seemingly talking to myself, since you can’t really see Chico from his spot behind my ear (you shut up, ass) but it wasn’t even a conversation for anyone else too so I didn’t really care that much.

To make a long story short, Chico had this thing (okay let’s pause for a second. I said before I didn’t remember what I had named Chico; it was a spur of the moment type deal and I promptly forgot it by the end of that day, and even though Chico remembered good ‘n hell well what I named him, it turns out my companion’s a douche-nugget and found it funny to leave me grappling in the dark trying to find out the name I gave him. So I said “fuck it” and started calling him Chico.)

Uhm. Hmm…What…what was I even—

--OH YEAH so Chico has this thing where he really, really liked being tossed in the air. Which sounded cool ‘n all—until you realized this guy is all of two inches long, a tiny little shit of a lizard-baby, and flinging him anywhere was dangerous anyway but in addition to be a douche-nugget he also rolls super hard apparently and he had been making me fling him really really high into the air because I just can’t fucking say no to that face—

--but I was doing it now because every time I flung him (you, I’m looking at you, you little shit) my heart stopped and I broke out into a sweat and I spewed expletives with greater, louder frequency.

“I’m not fucking doing it anymore so shut up,” I said, pacing back and forth, and I was standing firm this time. He (you, I guess) wasn’t gonna strong arm me into doing it again. You had this thing where you don’t even use words and you were nothing but raw emotion and I—I could feel the rush you got every time you flew through the air, the air cool and raging around you and the earth spinning and your heart free and your face smiling even though lizards don’t smile and okay fine I’ll do the shit just shut up.

Even though you weren’t saying shit. But you were excited as hell.

So you scurried down to my nose and I could feel your tiny heartbeat and I didn’t even have to toss my head that hard to make you hop so high in the air—

--and up above there was that wonder again, that happiness that was all over you, that excitement you felt and freedom coursing through your veins as you sailed through the air, some tiny lizard just flailing in the breeze—

--and down below I was screaming “SHIT SHIT SHIT” and I was run-pacing back and forth, squinting my eyes against the sun in order to see your tiny black shadow arching back down to the ground, so that I could maybe-sorta-catch you—

--and it was done in seconds; suddenly there was a tiny plup and there you were on my nose and I could feel how dizzy you were and the soreness in your bones because your landing was kinda hard for a lizard that was just inches long—but you were so happy and I was happy and scared and mad at you all at the same time.

Especially when you looked at me and I could feel the questioning emotion already bubbling right back up.

“Fuck no, I’m not doing that again.”

But you knew I was gonna.







@[Mauja] first please! Then others welcome!



talk