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Sialia
I tried to sell my soul last night, it's funny he wouldn't even take a bite.
He did it too. Ha! Except, it was more of a reaction to me reacting to him. It feels like I have stopped breathing, like I'm holding my breath, waiting for his cold words. I expect to have my head bit off, with the same biting toxic words he had used before. I am expecting the pain, to draw further inside my walls, deeper and deeper, falling into my pit of darkness. But for what seems a lifetime it is quiet. So unbearably quiet. Nothing seems to stir, but the emotions within statues. But those are so well guarded that one couldn't tell. In fact, if someone where to walk in on us, they wouldn't probably notice that we where living. So stone still, so cold. Like ghosts haunting the place of their brutal deaths. But there where ghosts. Ghosts of our pasts. Ghosts of dead loved ones, ghosts of heated memories now shattered from the cold. Then sound comes. And my insides brace themselves, but only soft words emerge. "I'm sorry." It is neither biting, nor mean. It isn't cold and emotionless. There is emotion, there is sadness in his voice. And it breaks my cold cold heart. But that is it, so far, the air heavy with words he either hasn't, or cannot say. And I remain quiet, straining under the weight of the dirt I had just moments before buried myself under. Straining under the weight of his heavy unsaid words. Straining under the weight of his sad apology. How the fuck do people react to this shit? Your forgiven? What do you say? Panic rushes through me. I am not used to this. I don't know how to react. How to manage this. I am a fighter, not a therapist. But I accept his apology. Silently I do, no words come from my mouth, but some how I am lighter. For some reason it pulls me out some more. My eyes lighten ever so slightly, life seems shot back into my body. All in a split of a second. His mouth curves up slightly in a sad smile, before sad words ring in the silence. Who do I remind him of? Why is he so sad? Then it hits me like a rock. Maybe they are dead. So, is it honest that I have an effect on him? Come on Sia, think with that brain of yours. Is it honest? It's my turn. I am silent, as he stares past me, and I watch him. Tears are starting to build up in his eyes, and the sight makes me want to cry. I am unsure of how to react. But my body does anyway. In some god awful jerky ass way, my body moves forward. So awkward. Only a few steps, until my chest is pushing against his, and my head curving around the base of his neck to pull him close into an embrace. And I feel a little bit warmer as my life returns to my body and eyes, the hardened face relaxing into the normal warm tones of my complexion. And I have my answer for him. "It's honest if you truly feel it Liam. It's only ever a lie if you have to force it." I feel so damn cheesy. "Speech here." Tag;; @[Mauja] Words;; 556 words Notes;; Sialia went awkward. She is trying really hard tho. So. That counts |
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