the Rift


[OPEN] I don't know how right should feel [open]

Essetia Posts: 218
Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 8 | dam: 6.0
Mare :: Equine :: 16.3HH :: 7 HP: 64.0 | Buff: NOVICE
Romul :: Arctic Wolf :: Confusion Linds
#7


Fragility—it was the careful thread between life and death, but Midas was not fragile. He was the image of strength and grace; he was a God in his own right. Yet, how could this parcel, once so full of life and power, be the man I’d so foolishly tested on the sands? How was this skin -these bones- the vibrant soul that I had chosen to serve and respect? Darkness had fallen over my vacant heart, as heavy as it was with the pain of such loss and disappointment. Everything I’d valued or loved had been stripped of me. The walls that surrounded me and offered me security had once again crumbled, leaving the weight of the world to rest solely upon my shoulders. I had little else to depend on; I was again alone in life. I was again just a token to be spent on the spoils of war and death. However, I was no Phoenix… and I would not be rising from these ashes.

Time passed slowly in the Basin and I’d grown too tired and too ashamed to do anything other than survive. The days were long and I spent most of them watching the shadows of the forest stretch across the wood… until they too disappeared. Nights were bitter and cold, but I did not try to hide from the frozen winds or the ruthless fear of being cut down beneath the moon’s pale glow. It was a lonely affair that promised no end and no comfort- was this what death felt like?

I hadn’t seen Ulrik since I’d tried to escape for the Falls and I was truly terrified to find what remained of my home. I could only assume the worst of my fate after witnessing wounded soldiers returning one by one to the land of ice and snow. However, they were not battle-beaten… they were smug; they were victors. It was sickening to imagine that I’d thought so much of Ulrik before his cunning kept me from my duty and from my family no less… I wanted to believe the best of him, I wanted to embrace the warmth I knew he possessed and yet I couldn’t, because I knew. I knew that he had betrayed me of his own volition- he’d made sure to note that the Basin unicorns worked as individuals. It was not the Basin that had done this to me.

It was the Engineer.

Friendship was such a fickle thing and easily imitated…I’d been too soft and too weak; I was no match for Ulrik and his… family? It would be a shame to call them as much, because I certainly couldn’t imagine finding any warmth in a land known for its cold and isolation…

Was he lonely? Did he feel? Could he understand?

All of these notions would forever go unanswered if only because I couldn’t forgive. I couldn’t. Did I even want to? The idea of it angered me and frustrated me and again the tears welled against the bottom of my lids. Yet the wracking sobs did not produce tell-tale signs of weeping because there were no more tears left to cry… They -those heartless creatures- had already taken them, leaving me with only the shudders of grief to console my heartache.

When Ulrik came to collect me, I knew it was time to return to the shattered life I’d made for myself in the Hidden Falls. Though, I’d had no idea to what extent that life had been broken. As of late I hadn’t spoken to Ulrik or anyone for that matter… that day was no different, because there was nothing left to say. Midas was dead, I was being held captive, and the deadly blow of the truth would soon come to splinter my heart until there was nothing but hollow resentment to fill the bloody cavern in my chest. Despite Romul’s callous nature, he too remained quiet as we followed the Engineer through the barren trees and toward the figurative cross that would carry Midas home.

The strange device was much like its creator, as hard and angular as it was, and it reminded me of the unfeeling beast I’d almost thought to believe a friend. I saw something different in the way he regarded me and in the nature of his being… Had I been utterly wrong? That friend had almost managed to erase Midas from our memories forever and he was supposed to be immortal- a true vigil of enlightenment. I prayed, for my own sake, that the sloping of Ulrik’s shoulders were some small indication of remorse or at least something akin to regret. Even as I watched him trailing the metallic machine, I prayed that he felt… me.

For a long time silence was my only company on our journey toward the Fields. I was not compelled to walk alongside the Engineer, if only because I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to keep myself from lashing out at him for his actions and his deceit. Ulrik was not to blame for Midas’ unfortunate death, but he had done nothing to prevent it and, well… I had no one else to blame. But, I desperately needed to blame someone. I needed someone else to carry this weight before it consumed me- engulfed me in the flames of pitiless hate.

There came a time when the machine could move no more, leaving Romul and I to stare uselessly at the charred flesh and the lifeless eyes of our deceased leader. What was I supposed to do now? I certainly couldn’t bring him… home. Was there even a place with such a title anymore? Or was this… a confession? Perhaps this was Ulrik’s way of telling me without saying-

There was no home left.

The quiet moments churned and scorched me like the ocean’s undercurrent. I wanted nothing more than for it to pull me under and bury me beneath the waves of sadness and hurt. But, the Engineer would not let me fester, he would not let me mourn, and instead the soft and somehow familiar lilt of his voice tugged me again to the surface until my eyes were able to find him against the blurring of my senses.

I could go? I must hate him? Was that it? Was that truly all he could say for the many injustices he’d committed against me? “I-I couldn’t speak…

As if by certain fate, a silver image draped in flame appeared just beyond the slight rise. My chest tightened, unwilling to face her pain coupled with my own. I wanted to flee and hide from the anguish, but I was too rigid, too frozen by the realization that shaped her beautiful face. I could not embrace her, could not find it within my heart to face her after all that’d I’d seen. Perhaps it was best to simply let her feel… even if feeling was more like killing, because death brought only more death… Would her soul ever truly live again? I remained statuesque as the world seemed to fall apart around me; I was a stone, unmoving. I’d been living with the weight for so long, a secret of loss that made me so sick and so angry that the release of it was… remarkable. Someone else now had to carry the memory of Midas and his reign… someone else had to mourn, because I could mourn no more. I could feel nothing more. I could do nothing more.

As the edges of my vision grew black and unseeing, I stepped forward and past Ulrik and his machine. In that moment, I’d decided upon two things- the first being that the Engineer would never again be satisfied in life with anyone else, as long as I lived, and the second being that I would give Midas’ legacy to Africa. She would wear his life upon her sleeve, at her neck, and in her heart until she too met him upon the cusp of life itself.


Africa-” I whispered hoarsely. “I’m…Sorry will never be enough.


Then… I pressed Midas’ feather against her neck before finally setting myself free.
Credits

Ulrik Africa-- Amended because Linds fails.

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Messages In This Thread
RE: I don't know how right should feel [open] - by Essetia - 04-20-2015, 10:10 PM

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