RHOA
Realism [+4]
You really did exemplary in this fight, particularly your second post. You had excellent attacks, defenses, and descriptions. Great use of the scenery in each post - would have liked to see more inclusion of their stat differences. The only issue I have is your fourth post, which suddenly dived the opposite direction. You ended on the ground, taking what seemed more damage based on your description than was necessary given the dice roll of 4 and her attack. Maybe you were going for dramatic flare, but it impacted your realism which was previously soaring.

“Thunder. It rumbles in my ears and for some reason hinders my sense of direction. Where is she? It's too noisy .. if only the thunder could be a little quieter..

Lightning. Flashes of light burn into my eyes and suddenly white smear has multiplied. I see remnants of her everywhere I turn my head.”


Emotion [+3]
Really lovely and strong emotion in each and every post. I felt totally connected to Rhoa the whole fight.

“She is the charging bull, forced to be here by cruelty. And I? I am the God of the Thunder waving my red cape to taunt her on. She will kill me, and I will kill her, and the crowd will cheer and throw roses.

And those roses will fall to the mud”


Prose [+4.5]
Every post was a delight to read and had excellent flow, imagery, and vocabulary.

“I can see clearly now, even though the rain hasn't gone.” (lol)


Readability [+2.5]
Readable all throughout with none to minor mistakes with spelling and grammar. Excellent.

P3:
“...and now its gone too far” (it’s)


Finally tally: 40+(15*2)= 70 HP


ELSA
Realism [+2]
You have good attacks and defenses, but I need more detail to bring the realism to life. For instance, it didn’t feel like you took enough damage (roll of 6) in your first post, because despite the fact you took both his attacks head on, you barely described the injuries, nor did they seem to hinder Elsa at all as she went on to attack him. Similarly when Rhoa’s attack missed her in post 3, you don’t ever describe how he misses her/how she is able to dodge him, so it just felt kind of forgotten or left off. There was also a time in the second post where you said Rhoa attacked her left shoulder, but he was on her right side. You did well continually mentioning the surroundings though, and I liked that nod to your agility stat in post 1.


Emotion [+1.5]
Although this seemed like a very emotional fight for Elsa, I continually felt like I was just watching her from a distance, never being part of her. I was so often told how she felt, rather than shown, and at times was just generally confused about her feelings and why she had them.


Prose [+2]
Each post had some moments of flow, but also moments of choppiness. Overall they read a bit disjointed and scattered, and I felt like I was constantly chasing after her thoughts and imagery.


Readability [+2.5]
Posts were readable, but you had a lot of tense changes in each post which made it difficult at times. Good use of directional language though, and overall very few spelling issues.

P3:
“...naturally and smooth.” (natural)


Finally tally: 47.5+(8*2)= 63.5 HP