Listening silently to his words was worse than fighting. Sitting there and having nothing to do was torture. Every happy, optimistic word was like a stab into her flesh. It was embedding itself so deep that pulling it out later seemed impossible. The pain would just sit there and fester; her body and mind would have to work around it. All these tries and promises were worse than lies. If this was what he did for her that meant everything was her fault. Sitting atop the Falls like an arrogant bitch would only make things a thousand times worse. That is when he bows, and she can’t take it. With the small amount of energy she can scrape up, she moves towards him and falls to her knees. Edgar screeches, flying from her head off into the wilderness. He cannot do this right now, not with all of her skeletons trying to come back to life. With all the might in the world, she tries to push him back up with her shoulder and neck, even if it is impossible. He will always be stronger, and always be better. Her knees grind across the grasses, leaving stains across the length of her legs. “Please stop,” she begs, her voice pleading as if she was being killed.

With her final shove in attempt to stop him from his so-called “recognition”, she collapses to the ground, her body heaving with emotion. It doesn’t matter that the grasses have started to tear at with her wounds, because the mental ones hurt much worse. The option of standing and dying at the violence of the invaders was much more preferable to this. At least then she had some dignity that would last, maybe even a martyr-status. Her eyes were raw, and red. They puffed around the edges in a grotesque and ugly manner. This is what was left of his snowflake. There was nothing, and why could he not see that? He made the smart decision of going with the obvious winner, while she was an idiot and stood against them. He could keep Shida and Auriel safe, and she couldn’t. Suddenly, what was a simple exhaustion was manifesting as all of her problems and stresses. This is what happens to her decrepit mind; Shida, Auriel, and Oxy were much better off without her. "That’s not how this works,” she begins quietly. “I will not be allowed in here ever again. Even if I was, it would hurt those who actually had my back.” Her voice was pointed at the end, laced with the silent venom she had thought she had lost long ago. “I appreciate-“ She nearly choked on the word, the lie so blatant that it burned through her teeth. “-what you tried to do. But it is a fairytale. Those don’t exist, and they never will.” Again she inhaled, reminding herself she needed to breathe. “Just make sure you keep the girls safe.” Her eyes grew hard, because he had to know what she meant. There was no way she was dragging them out into the wild with her, and if he had the ins with this group, he needed to raise them here himself.

She did not deserve love, and she never will. Even her own children would have to leave her now. That left Edgar, who could only take so much before his little heart was under more pressure than he could handle. In the back of her mind, she wanted him to stay, to make it all better, to come up with something that would work. Even if it meant that he began screaming at her, yelling that she had failed would be better than whatever this was. Yet, was she not the pot calling the kettle black, with expecting to have magical fairytale dreams to come true? "I don't deserve you," she said, falling silent. She could not even look at him anymore. Maybe she was overreacting, but she didn't understand how to work with these strange, controlling feelings.

"Talking"
[Don't worry about it. ^^ I completely understand. :)]

Elsa