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I had come to see Ulrik in an ever-changing light, with each day bringing new information to the surface in fragments of non-importance. It felt as though I was a puppet and he the puppeteer more than capable of stringing me up just enough to flap my lips while he pursed his own. As I considered the many things I’d told him of myself and how little I actually knew of him I felt a bit foolish, like a naive young girl unable to determine the motives of a more experienced lover. However, I lacked faith in whatever intimate knowledge the Engineer might have, given how much the stallion cherished his machines. I liked to believe him a mysterious creature with many secrets to hide and no reason in which to share them, but perhaps I’d been painting him in the wrong shades of grey and Ulrik was simpler than I’d come to imagine. Even then, as I watched him in the faint glow of the coming eve, I pictured him a brutish man with a loud bark and an even nastier bite… But somehow that seemed to fit Romul more than the man that Ulrik appeared to be.
As if I’d acquired a nervous tick, I found my stare directed away from the Engineer toward the field beyond. The grasses were still thick and green despite the coming of winter and I wondered what they might look like once the snow blanketed the mountain tops. I wouldn’t attempt the treacherous climb during FrostFall with the threat of backsliding down the mountain path due to an unseen patch of ice, but it certainly didn’t keep me from imagining the quiet beauty of such a place robed in white.
Romul too took delight in my musings by sending me pale images of the white capped plains. Of course they were not without my presence from one frame to the next. However, I only saw myself in ways that the wolf had come to see me. At times I glimpsed myself from behind and at others I saw only my shoulder and side… and yet each time he seemed to capture only a figment of what I naturally assumed myself to look like. He’d crafted me in too beautiful a light to be believable, but the emotion he shared in doing so made me smile absently to myself.
When again I found my attention returned to the Engineer I was surprised to find that he had succumbed to a sort of reverie as well. Since I couldn’t determine what went on inside his complex mind, I settled for trying to trace the lines of his face to pass the time. He was an increasingly handsome animal, perhaps a fine ale if one needed comparison. So often a good lager could be bitter at first, but the more you drank, the more it tasted of honeyed hops. Aside from that, being completely intoxicated often helped the matter.
However, all parallels aside, I was curious to know what kind of inquiries Ulrik had up his sleeve. I contemplated the many things a man of his caliber might want to know and still nothing came to mind. In truth, what else did he need to know? He had learned of my rank in the Falls, had seen firsthand my quick temper, and had even experienced the intense pleasure of seeing me ugly cry. It was a wonder he hadn’t avoided me from that day hence…
With the heat of embarrassment making my throat tight, I tried to distract myself by returning to my earlier study of the Engineer, but instead found the faint traces of a crude smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. There wasn’t much space between us now, but just enough to put my heart at ease, and when he motioned for me to follow his lead I was surprised to find that I wanted to. It could have been solely out of curiosity for the man or just a mindless reaction given I was so recently his captive. But it felt somewhat natural… even if I didn’t want to figure out why. Yet, when he proposed his very first question, I found myself coming to a slight pause at his side and backpedaling through my emotions. It was only a mere moment of indecision that forced me to reconsider his offer, but what would it hurt? What could Ulrik do with the information I revealed? It’s not like I was protecting anyone but myself. “Yes, I was born in the World’s Edge,” I answered loosely and without room for doubt.
I couldn’t find it within myself to admit my parents nor did I think it would matter, given my father’s short and unsuccessful reign. But it was my turn now and I planned on using it well… Forget knowing where Ulrik came from –he was here now— I wanted to know something deeper. “Now… I guess it’s my turn and I know we’ve discussed a great deal about racism in the Basin, but what about you? Did you join the Basin because of you aversion to other species?” To me? |
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