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05-04-2015, 05:20 PM
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The sun up here was hot--hotter than I expected against the autumn frost. The walk up here had been enough to shake the shiver off my limbs,but now, with the sun beating down with pure, unadulterated rays, I was starting to overheat. It didn’t help that I was surrounded by grasses and grazing that seemed pristinely preserved from the frost, all kinds of green and appealing on a good day. This wasn’t a good day though; instead, it all just looked nauseating. Didn’t matter. Whatever. It wasn’t a big deal. I wasn’t thinking about weeds and grasses and decadent blossoms to savor. I was up here pacing and agitated, wondering what to do with myself, how to keep a promise I made to two little girls who had just lost their home. Because I wasn’t a child. I wasn’t as clueless as I wished I was again; I wasn’t as naive to believe that there was a clear right and a muddy, scruffed-up wrong that no one in their right mind would be swayed by. That evil was something that could be smashed and pushed to the side if your intention was pure enough, if your heart shone with enough tones of gold. That was a fairy tale meant to help a child sleep at night, and sleep wasn’t coming too easily nowadays. I was one mare; one body against what sounded like a multitude of shitty cutthroats. I could have walked my merry ass down there, shouted my voice hoarse, demanded an asskicking--and they would have complied, eagerly, and I know I told that lil’ thing that I would live forever, but getting my ass jumped wasn’t gonna win their home back for them. What was, though? How could we drive them away, without an army of our own? Because they had played the shitty part and ambushed some poor bastards early in the morning--and, surely, they would probably learn from that mistake, that simple, innocent, awful mistake of comfort and complacency. My fool ass would’ve been crushed. And how would that have helped anyone? I groaned and it left my throat in a mess of barbed anger and helplessness, and you clung to my face, your tiny pink tongue darting out to nip at my eyelid, but right then it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough. I love you, but your little kisses weren’t gonna solve this conundrum I had dug myself into; this shitty situation that a few assholes up north and over west had decided to throw upon everyone else (For what? For what?) ...at the very least, I had to make sure they had their Ma again. If I couldn’t be their champion--if I couldn’t fix this gaping wrong in their hearts, in the earth-- --well, at least a couple of kids would get to keep their Ma for a little while longer. A couple more. For @[Elsa]! |
