You saw them first, and it was an eruption of many happinesses all at once.

The first happiness came from your excitement of seeing me fight someone again. You knew this place well—I’ll even say it was your favorite spot, let’s be honest. Because it never failed to yield someone that annoyed the absolute shit out of me and made the flame of a fight ignite in me, and you always loved watching me fight even if it frustrated you that I never allowed you to join me. Even now, when you were able to switch bodies in the blink of an eye, I still wouldn’t let you fight by my side. My fights were for personal, selfish things—and I wasn’t gonna risk you getting hurt for it.

But that happiness shifted, though--bursting into something else radiant and far more pure than your lust for an ass-kicking. It was also a lot less personal, because you knew what the impression did to me, that the image you sent me mentally was an image that already danced behind my eyes in ways that I’d never have admitted to you if you didn’t already know about it by default. You flapped your wings furiously from where you were perched on my neck; you knew I needed sleep but fuck that shit sleep is gonna have to wait. You tugged at the tips of my mane as you took off, soaring through the trees and into the clearing.

I followed—my movements a lot slower than yours was, my heart beating in a way you didn’t notice underneath the torrent of your own surging excitement.

You’d been waiting on this day for some time now; it was the very first body you had ever shifted into and you wanted them to see it because it was them that inspired it. You wanted to show them how much they affected you, how awesome you thought they were. So you shot for the rotunda like a bullet, and as you came upon those older owls sitting still and dignified like the marble they perched on--you gave a silly little hoot and circled them, the contrast between the three of you absolutely clear. But you didn’t care; you were just so happy to see them and you knew seeing Lee was gonna make me happy so you were double happy because, maybe, I’d fall asleep when we left.

The difference was marked between us; I emerged from the tree-line, and while your movements were jerky and hot and electric, my own were hesitant, lethargic, like I was walking at the bottom of the ocean. While you just showed up all up in their face, ready and willing for anything and everything—well. I stood there for a second, watching the pale body stand in the rotunda—watching the way he leaned against the pillar and wondering why I was even here.

It made sense, though, according to my flawed logic. I’d never once looked for him in my life; he just showed up randomly, dropping down whenever something fucked up was happening, whether I was aware of it or not. He showed up when the darkness crept; he showed up when his own shackles were getting too hard to bear; he showed up when I broke with Hototo’s passing and there was his shoulder offered, his mane a trap for the tears that I hated to cry. The last time I’d seen him was the rare instance there wasn’t some undercurrent of shit beneath our hooves—and honestly, if it weren’t for your blind devotion to those owls of his, I would be convinced that it had all been a dream.

“…Leos?”

I called but I didn’t know why I was calling him; I didn’t know what I would say to him, if I even wanted him to look at me, if I should even have the nerve to speak to him. What would I say? I didn’t know lack of sleep fucked with you so much. I wanna cry again so c’mere with that shoulder of yours and lemme dump it.Chico likes you so could you watch him for a bit while I look for a hole to bury myself in? I swallowed and approached the marble-spun structure—because reasoning and justifications aside, it was always, always, always good to see him. Lee: one of those things I haven’t fucked up yet.


[200 POSTS BRO CHEST BUMP ME]
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