He's getting tired of his heart swinging this wildly.

It just goes from one place to another, but it doesn't go smoothly, no—it tears itself from one thing to another, hurtling itself through fire and smoke and blizzards and fucking walls, so it's no bloody wonder it's a mess. But there it is again, straining against its cage of ice and fucking whimpering in tune with her voice (no no no, but his pulse hums death, death, death) because he's causing this, isn't he? Because there's this chill seeping out the cracks in his body, and when Ginnungagap widens there's no heat—not that there ever is any heat in Nifelheim—but the darkness between them swells with the warmth of his body as he takes it away.

The moon and stars are very cold.. did you know that? They're distant and cold, silent spectators in our lives—they shimmer and twinkle but they're so impossibly cold. They've seen much.. too much.

They've seen what happens when you sleep in the dark.

There's blood everywhere, Elding.

Everywhere.

"There's blood everywhere," he said into a span of silence, the words slipping out of his mouth a little awkwardly, like a thought, or saliva, sort of dribbling out between his lips and backed up by the vacant expression in his eyes. There's blood everywhere.

He wasn't really seeing her—he saw something else. Something colder. Something.. deader. Just snow and blood and bodies going stiff and chilly as the north's razor wind howled across their corpses.

“But there wa’ somethin’ before,” and it was like she snapped his head around or something—

—there was something before—

—I don't want to be a monster—

—but you know nothing of my fucking murders.

She was wobbling and he started forward (who the hell dug me up from my grave) and there was just this thing exploding in his mind (heart) but she was still talking, so he kind of just jumped forward a pace before going still again and (I pulled you out and fucked you up)—and staring, his eyes wide but for another reason. There was fear in them as he stared at her, but it was fear for her, not of her, because she was fucking tilting and she might fall any moment and it was bound to hurt—

—so he had to be there to catch her.

“…am I losing you?”

"...I will never leave you until death takes me."

“Cuz I don’t wanna lose you, Lee.”

"...I will never leave you..."

Her eyes closed—his mind spitting out images of her falling over; dying.

Under any normal circumstances he would've said something, or whispered, because her voice was so fucking small it made his heart stop—freeze up in some kind of panic (devotion)—but instead he yelled,

"NO!"

—and threw himself at her, all of his fear oozing from his mouth (his eyes) as he gurgled the word over and over, head tossed over her back, spine jutting into his throat as he clung to her—

—I'm not going anywhere I'm not going anywhere I'm not going anywhere I just don't know where to fucking find myself but I won't leave I'm here I'm here I'm here—

—it hurts like hell but I'm here—

—and it was true because it felt like someone had shocked his system full of some kind of shit and driven a handful of daggers through his heart, and breathing? That was a luxury he couldn't afford when his heart sat in his throat and did its best to choke him.

Because she was crying. Because she was afraid.

Because she was Elding and she looked like death and like she might fall over at any moment and it didn't matter who the hell her parents were (that was an odd thought; she was a creature with no beginning and no end) because.. because. Because somewhere, somewhere, she was his.

His heart hammered in his chest, too hot and too wild, feral with the panic seeping through him (don't go, don't disappear) because it felt like she might turn to smoke—or shadows—any moment and just disappear, slip through his fingers no matter how hard he tried to hold on—

—could she feel his pulse roaring through their chests?—

—and there were these things sticking to his lashes, trickling down his cheeks, her fear made his fear and everything was such a mess he couldn't even feel it because there was just this huge, dark thing obliterating everything (Roskuld).

Don't go don't leave I—

[ @[Roskuld] ]

lord, the demands you're making-
help the monster on two feet
walk him down the hall, repeat
and when he's strong enough to stand alone
you'll notice what big teeth . . .