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Silence. It envelopes you like the chill of winter, colder and colder, more still. You were suddenly aware of the ringing in your ears, the deafening sound of nothing; the gloomy haze whispering of the colors of dawn permeating the sky, the trees, the softness of the grass, just beyond the blackness of your eyes. The dryness in your mouth, the ache in your bones, the throbbing thought – a sense of urgency to find something, something that you couldn’t place – floods into your groggy consciousness, becomes too much and before long staying in that dreamless world that you had been lost to seems like sanctuary. Eyelids squeeze tighter; your mind desperately reaching for the emptiness that exhausted sleep brought you now. But it is fruitless, and the void next to you sends you in to a start though you know it is always there, vaulting your mismatched, heavy, heavy eyes open, your breath spilling from you as if you had held it for a hundred, a thousand, ten thousand years: "Nivos." And what’s to say you hadn’t? It had felt like it, with days stretching for an eternity and the nights twice as long, your heart an empty room and your head so full of dreams ( nightmares ) that you couldn't forget. You shift in the tangled mess of your doll-hair, still sweet with the smell of the ocean, of rain, of tears, sorrow. Trembling, you pull yourself to your feet, somehow laden with the weight of the scattered pieces of your world hidden within the shadow of your heart, and force yourself forwards, skin of riverstone pricking against dawn’s chill. Almost idly you watch as the trees pass by, ears twitching to the sounds of bird-song, the rustling of autumn-choked leaves, and the soft thrum of your hummingbird heart. No longer utterly silent, but filled with the quiet hums of life as the morning breaks, it is impossible to feel completely alone, and you relish in the subtle change. Sea and earth eyes trace the skeletons of the mountains, their spines, white and bare, pressed so tightly to the newborn sky through the breaks of red and gold. When had it been, the last time you had seen such things, felt the crunch of leafs beneath your feet, breathed in their sharp scent, felt the closeness of the trees? You cannot guess. And that, in itself and for a moment, is enough to forget yourself, the numbness that has sunk into your core. Your lips fold in to a madonna smile, your body moving through the slits of cool sunlight with a grace that had been lost to you when you decided to run. You had always been a dancer; your body lean and supple, elegant in its own right and refined, your legs long, long as shadows. Your brother had been the same, taller, but you had taught him the grace that came naturally to you, spent hours chasing a perfection neither of you would ever know. You had taught him to dance, and he had taught you to sing. You were never any good at it, but he smiled all the same. You laugh almost bitterly at the face stitched to the back of your eyelids, sliding to stop as quickly as you had begun, sides heaving and legs shaking, subtle as an earthquake. Even through your ragged breathing noise catches in your ears, and you pirouette easily, pulled from the infections memories, torn from the something that you had felt here. Gathering yourself, you stand tall as you can, head tilted slightly upwards, lips curling into a small, vacant smile. "Who’s there?" A bird’s wing on the window, but a challenge nonetheless, filled with a feigned bravery. |
* open~! but bruh, this post. i apologize for all the babble, it's late and i really couldn't figure out how to stop. XD
please tag enna in every post
violence permitted barring permanent injury / death
