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A S H A M I N
Back on His Feet
Back on His Feet
Ashamin listened with focus and attention, his body beginning to sway with something like tiredness. But it was too early to stop, his leg and depleted energy be damned. He wasn't about to let down Tiamat, either, and she was so clearly looking forward to their destination. So was he. His heart fluttered, really, at the thought of being nearly frozen solid and stuck in a cave. Who wouldn’t want that life?
Then again, he'd yet to find and claim a cave... he glanced down at the egg. Clearly he'd have to find one, now.
The painted buck nickered a laugh when Tiamat spoke of dancing, and when she carried out the action herself. A part of him longed to join her--to be that carefree, and to be that happy to simply be a part of life. But then there was another part of him, a scarred part of him, that prevented him even from that physical of an expression of joy. He felt hindered by his own pursuits, the same ones Einarr and his father had led him to.
But he could not blame them for the consequences of his failures. Should he not have moved? It was his fault he struggled to walk a straight line now, his fault his path was woven with such uncertainty. And this was the same thing he grew terrified to admit as Tiamat continued and explained her former role.
She had been a healer. In training, but a healer nonetheless. Perhaps a mender, like Lena. One of kindness, and of aid. And what was he? She asked and he didn't know how to explain. Oh, yes, I'm a soldier but I've only been in one fight and it wasn't for defense or anything, really, just sort of got my butt stuck by a stranger because I was too scared of him to even run. And on top of that, I got hurt so bad a filly had to make herself bleed to save me. So that's why we have to walk so slowly to get home. Sorry about that. Aren't I brave?
No, it wouldn't work. He couldn't think of a way, not really. And the whole thought made his stomach churn, made him wonder if this was even a role he could do. He frowned, rare in his moments with her even already, and let his head lower and knock before his knees. The stone in his horn rattled; he felt hollow.
"My role?" He repeated the question, half stalling, half wondering why she cared. But of course she cared, and of course she was curious; she seemed that way about everything. "I guess you could say I'm still finding it," he responded weakly, not lying so much as failing to fully complete the truth. He was, still finding it, in a general sense. But he knew what he wanted to be, and wasn't that what she was really asking?
Still, he wouldn't tell. And as he struggled to quicken his pace, to catch up to the dancing mare and urge her homeward, he felt sourness inside him for that fact. "Come on," he said, his mind elsewhere, "we should try and press on, find somewhere safe before night catches up with us."
No, he wouldn't tell her. Not yet.
Call it a secret
I'll call it a shame.
This is my failure,
complete.
[[Tagged: @[*Tiamat]]]
See Ashamin's profile for more information about Lochan, Rakt, and his various items.
All magic and force allowed, barring death and permanent injury.
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