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07-16-2015, 11:56 PM
Ranjiri
{
"Grief never ends, but it changes. Its a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love."
"So you're already trapped."
"Trapped by what?" I asked, a confused frown pulling the corners of my mouth down. "By my brother? Roskuld? My love for them?" I watched him as I spoke my questions. I tried to study his expressions, wondered what it was he was thinking, and if his opinion even mattered. In the end I smiled. "If you think that I'm trapped because I love my brother and Ros so much you're probably right. I'll never stop loving them. Never. And if that means I'm trapped then I'm glad to be because I don't want to live a life where I don't have someone to love."
My ears tilted forward as he moved to the side to allow me to pass, but I remained standing where I was for the time being because he started to speak to me again, claiming that he didn't care if the gods were mothers and fathers, and that he didn't care if they hadn't done anything to him. "So you'll hate gods you know nothing about just because they're gods? Why?" I asked, my head tilting because I just didn't understand. "I mean ... I guess you're right that they do meddle, but doesn't everyone?" And then he said something else that only furthered my confusion. "What do you mean you don't have enough time left?"
"Go back to your friends, girl, you who can. I'm staying as far away as I can - maybe I'm a self-serving ass but at least I won't leave anyone to mourn when I die. That is what I call selfish."
I couldn't help it, my anger was melting away and I was beginning to feel pity for the stallion. I watched him for a little bit, debating on whether or not I should approach him or if I should hold my ground. "My name is Ranjiri." I murmured as I stood there debating with myself.
"Mourning is the price of love." I said as my mind drifted to what he'd said about leaving others to mourn his death being selfish. Was it? I supposed in a way it was. "No matter how we fight against it the end is inevitable, isn't it?" I asked. "Our lives pass by so quickly, why not have them be filled with love and happiness? Yeah, we'll leave behind others that mourn for us, but we also leave behind memories to make them smile, that can make them laugh, something they can draw strength off of when faced with challenges..." At some point I realized that I was rambling. "Is the desire to be unselfish really worth being bitter and angry and miserable until the day you die?"
Without love and friendship were we really living our lives to the fullest or were we just floating along waiting to die?
"."
@[Cathun]
aud pixel!
