KI’IRHA
Realism [0]
You seem to have a good sense for what’s realistic, but I just don’t get enough of an explanation to visualize everything that’s happening. I need more description for how she moves around her opponent to make the attacks/dodges that she does, and how much the injury affects her and how that injury impedes her the rest of the fight. You really didn’t mention the surroundings much or even the differences between her and her opponent, as Ki had strength, agility, and height on Enna which would go into explaining how certain choices and outcomes occur. For the most part you took damage well except in your third post where you just took way, way too much damage for the roll of 2 that you received. Also attempting to grab antlers can go very badly for you, since it’s much more likely she would gore your face than you would have the accuracy and the mouth strength to grab and drag a horse down - but it would be more likely than just pushing a horse to the ground as you attempted in post three. Again though the best way to bring realism is to convince me it’s realistic through description. I like your mention of her using her tail for balance :)


Emotion [+1.5]
I was hoping for a little bit more emotion to draw me in and get me inside Ki’irha’s head, but I found it rather lacking or limited. Your second post did the best in this regard.


Prose [+2]
Overall your posts were a joy to read and had some really strong moments of imagery that I thoroughly enjoyed.


Readability [+2.5]
Posts were easy to understand, just had a few typos.

P1:
“...her ofg balance..” (off)
“...sharp cloves of…” (cloven hooves - cloves in this way is like a clove of garlic)
P2:
“...her opponents leg.” (opponent’s)
“Rust on cobalt.“ (fragment)
P3:
“...skin if her chest.” (of)


Finally tally: 40+(6*2) = 52 HP


ENNA
Realism [-1]
You’re on the right track with realism, but again explanation is everything. There were a couple times that due to limited description I wasn’t sure how Enna was facing her opponent when you were making certain attacks, which made those attacks seem improbable. Similarly if you’re dodging attacks or attacks miss, you need to explain how, not just ignore them or say you dodged them, I need the nitty gritty here! On a similar note, your sustained pretty good damage, but you didn’t explain your injuries thoroughly and they didn’t seem to affect you the rest of the fight. I really liked your attack with your neck though beneath Ki. Taking that much bloody damage from a hoof attack to your chest in your second post isn’t plausible though, even if it matched the damage roll of 6 - hooves are not like knives so really bruise more than slice. I would suggest just watching some horse videos to get a better grasp of their behaviors and fighting methods and to be detailed! Nice job slipping on the ice at once point :)


Emotion [+1]
I was hoping for some more emotion to draw me into this fight and help me understand Enna better. For instance, she doesn’t seem to be a warrior, so why is she doing this, how does she feel about all this? Your second post was the strongest for emotion.


Prose [+1]
Your posts flowed well and used some imagery and vocabulary, particularly in your second post.


Readability [+2.5]
Posts were easy to understand, just some typos.

P1:
“..the skin her hoof had come in contact with beginning to emit…” (run-on)
“...melded in to.” (into)
P2:
“...rend a part.” (apart)
P3:
“...cutting in to the…” (into)


Finally tally: 39+(3.5*2) = 46 HP