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08-13-2015, 10:54 PM
Johnny I accept the flowers from the phoenix, because I didn’t really know what else to do. I gingerly take them and hold them stupidly in my mouth for a minute because I was still trying to catch my mind up with everything and where else was I going to put them? After a moment, because I needed my mouth for… other things, I - very carefully - put them on the ground. I don’t want to ruin them, he’s clearly put a lot of effort into all of this, and you're going to get really sick of me saying 'I don't know' because I also don't know how I am supposed to react or feel about any of this. I shift awkwardly, and step gingerly over the flowers so that I won’t accidentally step on them - it was a beautiful arrangement and everything was so lovely. Sweethearts can break, you know. Even the ones stamped with “I wuv u”. They snap right in half and apparently, the pressure that it took was the look in Gaucho’s eyes when he asked if I liked them.
Oh Gaucho, of course I did. And that was the problem.
“I thought we talked about this.” My voice was quiet, I don’t want to talk more because I’m afraid that it going to start shaking. It was stupid of me to move closer toward him because his musk hit me like a brick, that thick aroma that they could package and sell like hotcakes in a Bath and Body Works. I’m afraid that if I talk anymore, I’ll give in. But giving in, accepting that Gaucho cares for me, is the scariest thing I have ever done. I had tried to push him away because I thought it would be easier that way, easier for the both of us. If I avoided him, the feelings would fade away and we would never have to deal with them.
But you try avoiding the stallion that stood before me now - he commanded attention, from everyone, and for some reason his attention was on me. I wasn’t willing to get hurt again, not after the last, and every piece of bulging stallion that composed the prize that stood before me screamed of hurt. Some of it good, don’t get me wrong, but remember the sweetheart talk? This candy heart of mine can only take so much.
I’m looking at him now and I’m trying not to cry. The strong words that I had been rehearsing have evaporated and I can’t remember how to even form a coherent sentence. “I don’t deser- I-I can’t. why??” The fear has its grip on my heart and I turn away from him then, shaking my head stubbornly. I'm your sweet sugar Candyman |
Table by Sevin!
@Gaucho
![[Image: Johnny%20by%20Aud_zpsi3ssx2s1.gif]](http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a47/strangeandunusual/Johnny%20by%20Aud_zpsi3ssx2s1.gif)
magic and physical force permitted at all times
vigorous licking strongly encouraged
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