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07-31-2015, 05:07 PM
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I had begun to think I was entirely alone when I heard a word. It was distant and not unfamiliar; it was an utterance of shock and dismay that I had grown accustomed to hearing spring forth from my own lips upon waking to find myself unaccompanied. It is a terrible thing to be lonely, son. I hope you understand that at least you have your brother and your sister beside you, even if I cannot be there. Someday, I will be, but we won't talk about when or why, we will just be together and at peace. However I expect this will be in quite some time, though time long deserved and understood, and so I must beg you to be patient. When he arrived, he was not unexpected. He was the shaggy sort of beast that I expected to be hanging about in woods on a night like that, and not at all dissimilar to the other stallions I'd met along my journeys that had chosen to greet me as he did that evening. He stood close to my height, and perhaps were I younger I would have lifted my head higher than his crown. As it were, he was above me in some sense. I suspected this gave him a satisfaction he was used to claiming for his own. I considered passing him over and wandering beyond him--thought him to be useless, for a moment. But though I knew enough of these lands to have found them, I couldn't deny that he could help me, in some manner, as long as he understood that I wasn't going to play his game. Never play anyone's games, son. I stepped forward in shadow, exhaling the same pale that rose from his sweat-soaked figure. We were painted in mist, for a moment. If I had loved him, or if he had loved me, it would have been romantic. He called me darling, child. That is what he said. And in that night shrouded in shadow, in that earliest morning shrouded in solitude, I couldn't bring myself to care. I had been called so many things, his flattery was no exception to the rule my life had become. Perhaps once I would have felt a shudder of excitement, a glimmer of pleasure at attention, but before him I felt nothing. When I call you darling, it is a different thing. When I call you love, when I whisper for you at the sunset, it is with sincerity. I hope you find someone who will be so honest with you. Such clarity of the heart is rare, such consideration of one's company is hard to find. Treasure what we have, and the total truth I write to you. So I turned to him and I did not smile. I looked into his eyes, so bright an emerald hue that even the night could not guise their brilliancy, and let the cold of my blue ones seep into that exchange. He was so much younger; did he know I was twice his age? I didn't dare go closer, didn't dare let a sliver of moonlight cross my features and reveal my wilted frown or the white hairs freckling my expression. A part of me I wish I could deny, a part too rooted in old habits to understand a new world I was trying to make for myself--a world of opportunity, you see--liked being thought of as beautiful, still. I started to walk away, as if uninterested. I started to take account of the world around me and its complete cold, its unforgiving and all consuming freeze. This was a land seemingly untouched by time or seasons other than a winter. It was as if everything was still, and time was slowed. Every breath felt labored, as if it lingered too long in my throat, and then after too long in the air before me. But he asked me a question, and even if I was not willing to approach I would answer. So with my gaze unmoving even as my bodice trailed further and my expression dull and unimpressed, I smacked the top of my tail (so long that its ends did not even lift from the earth) against my hind and answered him. Was I lost? "No," I replied. And that was all. [[@[Rohan]--Sorry this is weird and she wasn't chatty, I will get the hang of her, new chars are just always an experiment for a while, sorry.]] Ahvelyn i wanted to tell you that things would be different this time |
