His snort took me off guard and I trembled at the sound, completely unexpecting it. My blood pumped loudly in my ears and the fire that stung my mind and burned my eyes was growing cooler by the moment. I wasn’t any less upset, but more frustrated at myself for not being able to explain it well enough to cause less hurt between the both of us. I was already in pain. I had ruined what I thought was a decent plan between Caleb and I and in turn, ruined every other relationship I had. Thank god there weren’t others. I didn’t know how much more my heart could take before it swept me under with it.

I watched as his head swung to face me, his ears pinned back to his skull whereas mine did the same. My head was pulled back in a more reserved way as I watched him, eyes of fire and frustration as he began to speak. His voice was loud, the sound piercing the ever so pleasant appearance of the meadow around us. All I could do was nod at his first words. Yes, he was the other. That was true. However, mentioning it on the beach, no. I didn’t think to mention it because I never thought I’d see Caleb again. He said he came and went, so I figured there was nothing to worry about. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I tore my gaze from his, looking away from him.

“No, I didn’t think to mention it on the beach because I didn’t think he was going to appear again.” Great, now I sounded insane. I shook my head, my horned skull lowering slightly. “It’s so damn difficult to explain.” I admitted, ashamed. Why was it so difficult? Why couldn’t I just tell him that Caleb had threatened me with either being his whore or being imprisoned as one? That was the easiest way, but yet the hardest words to form in my mouth. It brought such a sour taste to my tongue that I couldn’t help but to shake my head until I heard his next set of words.

‘Rexanna, I love you.’

All I could think was how? How could he still love me? I was a terrible person, always had been. Hell, I was because of terrible doings. How could I even compare to something so perfect, something so… wanted? He then wanted to know the truth, that’s when I needed to learn how to form these words in a way that made sense but in a way that didn’t hurt worse than what was already said. Forced love, did he not know what that meant? I thought it was a decent explanation, apparently I was wrong… Again.

Lifting my head slightly, I placed my dull gaze on the elephant before me.  “I’m going to do my best to explain this, but please try to understand.” I sighed to myself. “I do love you, Tembovu. What I mean by forced love is… I either became his prisoner or a free willed concubine. I didn’t expect to ever see him again. That’s why I didn’t mention it on the beach. I was his concubine a day after I met you in the Threshold. I had a choice. It was either become prisoner or be free. I chose to be free because that meant I could see you. He always said he came and went, that he would never stay very long. That’s why I didn’t think it mattered.” I lowered my head more.

“I didn’t want to do this. The last thing I want you to think of me as is a sex slave.” My voice broke and I swallowed sharply to try and keep my voice from quivering. “That’s the forced love.” I finally said, ears eased up lightly but still held back in a more ashamed posture instead of the frustration I felt beforehand. In the midst of all my blood pumping in my ears I didn’t hear him ask who it was. Perhaps it was better that way.





Rexanna