I feel like I stretched the truth in a sense. Yes, it was true that I was given an ultimatum of the sorts, but I’m sure had I gone to the leads of the Basin they would have helped me get away from that sort of relationship. That was until I realized I had feelings for Caleb. That was the thing that made this whole issue a whole hell of a lot harder. I loved Tembovu, but I also loved Caleb. To choose between the two seemed impossible to me. I loved Tembovu for the history together that related so well, for the gentleman within him and the general kindness of his soul. However, I loved Caleb for how spontaneous and mysterious he was.
 
There was an issue though. I knew that Tembovu loved me, but I had heard that Caleb couldn’t love. He told me so himself; so would there ever truly be a chance with the winged stag? I wanted someone to love that could love me back in its entirety and not have to sit there guessing if I did something wrong that I would be just as easily forgotten as I was found. The thought was enough to make me feel sick, if it weren’t for Tembovu’s rush toward me and embrace. I felt hollow on the inside and yet his touch seemed to bring the life back into me. I couldn’t help but to return the gentle grasp in my broken state. I felt almost happy in this moment, knowing that he could forgive me for something so treacherous.
 
That is until I saw him.
 
I watched him approach, tensing up with every step he took. He always knew how to find me, why was it I thought this was different? Maybe because I had been silently praying that he’d leave me alone for enough time to confess my sins to my other lover. Again, I was wrong. He grew closer and I felt Tembovu’s embrace grow tighter, my blue eyes growing sharp with a piercing stare that almost seemed to stab through Caleb. What did he think he was doing? He introduced himself as Alexander and the sound of it was enough to make me cringe. ‘You fucking liar.’ I thought to myself. How long had I gone thinking that his name was Alexander and not Caleb? Why did he feel the need to lie to me and then get upset when I lied right back?
 
Because yet again I realized that him and I were nearly the same.
 
I listened to his words, the thought of having to choose right here and there between the two made me extremely uncomfortable. My body stayed stiff and rigid as I thought about what to do. Thankfully, I didn’t need to make a decision. Tembovu spoke for me and as I felt his rigid body grow closer to my own golden pelt, I grew a bit braver having the elephant along my side. “We don’t need to express ourselves to an eavesdropper like yourself.” My tone was sharp and held a bit of a fury behind them. The last thing I needed was Caleb to sit there and patronize me for something he started in the first place. Yes, I felt for the stag, but the more I saw his lies, the more I realized perhaps he wasn’t going to make a healthy relationship. But I was still torn and unable to make a decision for the fear of upsetting both of them. God, this was difficult.
 
My head began to hurt and I was beginning to feel sick. I had wandered for quite some time without the means of paying attention to food and water. I was barely even hungry with the situation at hand and it appeared to be catching up with me. I felt weak, but I was strong. My stomach burned with hunger, but I leaned back into my elephant with all the strength of him behind me as well. I wasn’t going to let Caleb push me around this time. I didn’t feel like it, nor did I think it was fair. I needed to stand up to the both of them and stop playing the victim, but I wasn’t sure how to do that without making them both my enemies. How could you take these creatures, both to have confessed their love (except for Caleb who had never said it outright) and basically tell them both to figure it out for themselves?
 
I didn’t want to be fought over. I had already endured enough heartbreak for my short life. I didn’t need to be reminded of a clash between the two every time I saw a scar. It wasn’t fair for them. I didn’t deserve anything fair, but to them? They deserved more. I honestly believed that they deserved more than me, but whether or not they could see that or wanted to believe it, I wasn’t sure. Only time would tell, I guess.
 




Rexanna