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09-27-2015, 01:42 PM
Slå mig hårt i ansiktet så får jag känna att jag lever
The days after his return from the battle in the forest, after all the meetings and shouting and after his resignation from the warrior rank, Cathun spent his time haunting the beaches of the Throat. Like a restless spirit he ghosted back and forth, here and there, wandering with neither purpose nor goal, mulling over everything that had been said and done until the foul taste of it all had completely darkened all his thoughts. Stomping along in his own hoof prints while the salty wind ripped and tore through the burning imitation of curls, he arrived to one single conclusion no matter how he twisted and turned and mulled.
"I hate this place."
The desert island felt like a cage. A uselessly pretty red wasteland full of idiots, placed in a land littered with gods, magic and even more idiots. The only thing anyone ever thought about were these gods, this magic and the idiots they claimed to love or hate. He was an idiot too, Cathun was intelligent enough to see that he wasn't so different from hundreds of other horses, but he couldn't bring himself to care.
Overall, that was his problem. He. Didn't. Care. Not about gods, or magic, or wars, peace, strange illnesses or any of the common, mortal worries that plagued everyone and filled this empty existence called life. The only thing that moved him was the deeply rooted fear of death, a condition that afflicted all and which was creeping closer to him with every passing day.
He didn't want to die. It would mean that he would disappear, become erased from everything and everyone who meant something, it meant that he would never again be able to affect the world or do anything that mattered. Like his mother before him he would crumble into ash and get blown away by the strong southern breeze, leaving nothing behind as proof that he had been there.
No, he didn't want to die. But... he didn't really know what he ought to live for, either.
"What ever could be worth suffering humiliation and pain for?" he asked, and followed a red crab as it sidled off along the waters edge.
It clicked its claws, but did not answer. Cathun snorted, feeling even more annoyed.
@Ranjiri
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