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09-28-2015, 12:08 PM
Slå mig hårt i ansiktet så får jag känna att jag lever
He started at the sound of her voice. Not just because it was a voice, there, behind him when he had thought himself completely alone. Nor because he had been pulled from his miserable thoughts in an abrupt, bordering on rude way (well not really, since he had been the one not paying attention).
No, it had more to do with the fact that it was her voice. It made his heart bit faster and set a sweet kind of ache spreading through his chest as he turned to look at her. Slowly. Casually, because he had totally not just nearly jumped out of his skin like a skittish rabbit. No, he was cool, casual, suave... and it was all completely ridiculous, because it was just Ranjiri and what she said was just happy-go-lucky nonsense as usual.
"I hope you realize how cheesy that sounds" he said dryly. He stopped as well and turned, uncomfortable at the realization that she had heard his self-pitying whine and even more awkward when he found that he was glad she was the one to hear it.
"What family, what friends? If you mean anyone living on this charred pile of sand I'm just gonna go ahead and tell ya, it's impossible. You and everyone else, you talk about family like it means anything."
He cocked the head aside, the gesture as ingrained in him as the need to flick the non-existent hair out of his eyes. The look he gave her was hard and bitter, the words of those so called family members pricking him like needles.
"What kind of family lets one another think that a friend has died even though it's not true? What kind of friend expects you to sacrifice your life in pointless battles? I don't know about you, Ranjiri, but I don't feel like my life mean any more or less than yours, or anyone else's. But apparently I'm good for nothing but dog food. How am I supposed to feel anything at all for people like that?"
And again, everything he said came out as a childish whine, a good for nothing rant that breathed nothing but hurt feelings and injured pride. It wasn't even this he wanted to say to her. Welcome home, it's good to see you, thank all the fucking gods in whatever heaven that you're alive. I'm sorry for being an ass, I like you, are we still friends?
But he wouldn't be Cathun if he hadn't left out all the important stuff and focused only on himself. As always.
@Ranjiri
Ali said 'Blu can jump in whenever :|' so I do as I'm told and post again. lol
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