QIAN Vs EDGE INVASION :: QIAN Rubrics

QIAN Vs EDGE INVASION :: QIAN Rubrics

Official Posts: 847

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Stallion :: Equine :: ::

Official

10-05-2012, 01:34 PM

Lace

CHALLENGER -- Round 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: Body ram at Korra.
+ 1| Noting differences in build.
- 1 | "Lace quickly regained his balance and reared, allowing the momentum to carry him to the right and forward so that he ended up right behind her rump" -- To me this is powerplay because you make it sound as if Korra has already taken the attack and that she didn't make any move in defense to allow you to end up behind her.
+ 1| Attack: Biting at Korra.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow

CHALLENGER -- Round 3

[Realism]
- 1| Broken leg. This is very, very bad as a horse with a broken leg can put no weight on it and is most often a death sentence. I would avoid broken bones and even fractures at all costs. I would have much rather seen Lace turning and coming down, getting scrapes from horns and such than have him break a leg.
+ 1| Attack: Fajira breathing fire at Aurelius.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow

CHALLENGER -- Round 4

[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: Fajira breathing fire at Mauja.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow

CHALLENGER -- Round 5 (defense only)

[Realism]
0 | Nothing to defend against.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow

CHALLENGER

[Bonus]
+ 1| Use of Fajira's fire breathing.

[Injuries]
- 2| Broken leg.

[Creativity]
+ 1| Using Fajira's as eyes to get a better view of the battle field. Loved it!

Comments: Even after Lace broke his leg he was still nice to read because his emotions were always there. I am just very sad that he took so much damage and now I'm wondering what will happen to him in the future.

TOTAL
Challenger - 14