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QIAN Vs EDGE INVASION :: QIAN Rubrics

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Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#19




TARES

CHALLENGER -- Round 2

[Realism]
+ 1| DEFENSE: Fire wings to Faelene and cut to flank
+ 1| DEFENSE: Run from Descaro
-1| DEFENSE: It seems implausible to me that she would be unable to avoid getting run over
+ 1| DEFENSE: Fire wings against Descaro
+ 1| ATTACK: Buck at Descaro
+ 1| ATTACK: Pheonix to Descaro

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion - very good emotion!
+ 1| Flow

CHALLENGER -- Round 3

[Realism]
+ 1| DEFENSE: Taking to the skies
+ 1| ATTACK: Phoenix to Descaro
+ 1| ATTACK: Crashing onto Descaro's back

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow

CHALLENGER -- Round 4

[Realism]
0| DEFENSE: Did not try to avoid Descaro's hit to stifle, but did take an injury
+ 1| ATTACK: Horn to Descaro

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 2| Emotion - excellent emotion!
+ 1| Flow

CHALLENGER -- Round 5 (defense only)

[Realism]
- 1| DEFENSE: If Tares had tried to escape a hit at all, her ribs would not have broken and punctured through. The sheer force it takes to break and punch rib through would knock her over first.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow


CHALLENGER

[Bonus]
- 1| overuse of magic an companion (since Tares' wings are magic, flight counts as a magic use)

[Injuries]
- 2| Broken rib

[Creativity]
+ 1| "His ails extend to a word, one word that I hear among all the chaos of the fray, one word that I realize is a name. Why is he calling to her? "
+ 1| Very consistent and lovely style


Comments: I would really work on your physics of attacks and making sure to pay attention to the magic use. Tares' wings are still magic and count as a magic use when they are used in either a defense or attack. However, your emotion, style and flow in posts was beautiful and refreshing.

TOTAL
Challenger - 19





Messages In This Thread
RE: QIAN Vs EDGE INVASION :: QIAN Rubrics - by Official - 10-05-2012, 01:39 PM

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