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Shida
AWWWWWWW YISSSSS
"???????????????????????????" Is about the summary of what my brain can offer atm (that's 'at the moment', for those of you not savvy enough to keep up).
Speaking of not keeping up, let me reiterate my current state:
"???????????????????????????"
It's only just as my ass starts to screech out in pain, that the last few seconds filter into my thick skull: there's Princess telling me that he hears something, me telling him that it's just the sound of his own ass releasing gas, him saying his ass doesn't look like a big grey unicorn, and then then ?????????????? bit where my brain turned off (but we've already been over that bit). In my defense, Princess does freak out about his own farts on a fairly regular basis, so can you really blame me for not immediately believing him? The hellhound who cried wolf, anyone????
Alright, well. Back to this.
"MOTHEROFDRAGONBALLS." I scream as I scoot forward rather clumsily, because the ground appears to be dry heaving (although all things considered, that's the least of my worries). I am not the most graceful, but luckily my bulk gives me a low center of gravity. At this point though, it might have been better to fall on my ass, rather than trying to use my left-ass-muscle. The pain reverberating through my considerable backside is more than the pain of my Daddy and Mommy leaving me here and -
Nope. I don't have time for that sappy shit right now. At least, not if I don't want to end up completely shish-kabobbed.
I can feel a tear and the trickle of blood. It almost seems rudely anticlimactic for how much pain I am in. At least when I cause pain, explosions and expletives follow. You know, it makes a good story. But this? This just fucking hurts, and as I continue to dance forward on the uneven ground, I think I can feel a flap of my skin chiding my every movement. I didn't even hear this fucker approaching - what is he, Batman or some shit? As I spin around, I half expect to see bits of cloth muffling his hooves and a cape around his shoulders (because it's either that, or I'm just a terrible warrior. And we all know that I'm no-- wait. Yeah. It's probably that.).
"What the fuck man?" I shout, feigning some sort of surprise and waiting for the earth to stop flailing around. "The fuck kind of bullshit was that? You always just jump outta the bushes and ram little girls in the ass---" (Okay, so maybe the sexual undertone there was a little strong. But I'm in a lot of pain, so how about you let me have it?) "I fuckin' bet he does." I whisper to Princess, who appears smug over having been right about an oncoming attacker, rather than, you know, the appropriate feeling of distress at seeing a flap of my gluteus-maximus waving in the wind.
"That was a dick move bro." I manage as the earth stops, and I can let the muscle in my ass relax for a minute. Awww, yisssss. That feels better.
TIMEFORSOMEMOTHER
FUCKINGEXPLOSIONS.
It is on like donkey kong, bro.
I focus on the area around Sir-Jumps-Out-Of-The-Bushes. I want to see his grey ass fly. Red bull ain't the only thing around that'll give you wings. I magic (throw? focus? conjur? there's really no good adverb for 'does the mental hokey pokey and magic comes out of my mind') the area in a large circle. Hopefully he does a somersault in midair, but right now I'll be fine with whatever sort of break this affords me.
My ass really hurts. Like, seriously. Who does that?
At my heels, Princess growls slightly, though doesn't appear to be planning on doing anything. He says that this is my fault, and that I should think before opening my mouth, but I'm only half listening, as I wait to see if Sir-Jumps-Out-Of-The-Bushes explodes the way I want him to.
Setting: Green Labyrinth. Daylight - sunlight filtering through trees. Tallsun
Attack: 1.3
WC: 662
Summary: Ciceron's horn grazes the left side of her butt. She flails, spins, and tries to explode the ground under him.
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[JUDGED] Kick all the asses - OPEN SPAR
