Whispers of an Aurelight had been passed along with the wind, found the ears of many, probably —or at least hers: He was then? An Aurelight? That light —with his throat filled with the shadows of disarray... could he not be for himself? Or was he like her; blinded on his own, unable to see past what shone so brightly. Caged.
“Czar… —Kaj,” she greeted in response. For they had shared evening tea, after all and thus her brain thought it was only reasonable to call him by his name.
But she had gone to walk in search for her own understanding, so maybe instead of brightening up the path for himself, he could do so for her. And (in this world so full of contrast) maybe, while they were at it, in return she could do the same for him. Still… Was that fair? Knowing that his grasp would need to reach farther than hers as he was cursed into his troubled existence? While she was here; still fine; acting out a state of unknowingness... nonchalance, because it seemed the best option for her own state of mind... —Or did she act like she was unaware, for his sake, as well?
Had the tea been that good? Did he then… deserve that much from her?
But finally she admitted —Yes... Yes, it probably had been. His voice had sounded lost, like the echo of an avalanche somewhere in a mountain-range. She stayed quiet for once, wanting to give him space to perhaps redeem himself. Give him the opportunity to become and portray the leader before her eyes once more... But you don’t need to for me. She had seen enough; would let him be if he desired so; in this place where the air was thick and blue, and close to the Divine entities of Helovia. But instead of to them he seemed to turn his questions to her.
"I am but a mortal soul, with nothing to give that would mean anything to a God. What does my faith mean to them?".
She continued to look at him as he turned his gaze away, thoughts portrayed behind the silent walls of her golden eyes. But then she smiled, let her eyes wander to the shrines as well. “I don’t know.” Because ironic enough, they were… worthless. Probably, as individuals at least. Which was why she sought a purpose; a meaning behind her existence as well.
And so his worries were, in the end, just... mortal. What was there to say about them? Weren’t they just average; what every individual existence that attempted and thought about faith, justice and gods thought about? If they made sense at all? And she wondered if she could make him see that, too.
“— But you are the Aurelight, so I suppose you should be able to figure that out yourself,” she hummed as she stepped closer.
“In my religion life... It is about Purpose,” she started to slowly tell in her outlandish tunes. “It is about listening to what the Gods wish for you to do.” ... And it hadn’t all been about roses, either, but as she had simply known that it had to be done that feeling had made her stronger and more capable, as well. “Their guidance eventually led me towards where I am now, and I am grateful. Without that guidance, without the doubt, the unknowing, I would not have asked questions, I would not have searched for answers and I wouldn’t have found the family I have now, as well as the God I so closely serve.”
Now, she was not a comforting kind of mare, wasn’t too careful what she said and didn’t say; not one that would cuddle up to someone for no reason, and not even one that would when there was a reason — But from all of those reasons… If it was the right reason — and although those chances were slim — she would… perhaps... care a little bit more.
So for a moment she reached out with her nose to his, just as a sign of support. Because when it came down to the questioning of Gods and Faith, she understood the troubles, for even she had to come from someplace else, to get where she was now within her faith. She understood the hardships, but she also understood the liberation when all the puzzle pieces, lost for so long, finally fell into place. To a God, all you can give is your faith, give him more and it will be your life. But she let that vivid thought sway back into the darkness; away from her tongue, as it left a taste of something perhaps too dark for the already so shaded mind of the stallion. Perhaps he wouldn’t be able to see the beauty of it, as well. Like I do.
She did a step back again, because, like life, things could only last so long —and the service of great tea only went so far (which was still pretty far nevertheless). So instead she laughed. “Disservice?” because she honestly wondered what he meant by that. Her eyes sparkled in that short moment of hilarity, but when he mentioned the medic her curled lips turned into a line again. She didn’t like wounds — Burns and she didn’t like doctors… or anything that came close to it. She didn’t liked to, once again, be reminded of the fighting in the east. Of that she had done so much thinking already. She had lain awake after the sun had already set, eyes opened as she had been aware of the hours that ticked by to see the sun rise again. This whole way here she hadn’t been able to put her mind at ease, that was until this stallion had disrupted her way of thoughts by choosing to throw a tantrum in front of the shrines. Which hadn’t meant to be… but had been a welcoming turn of events.
“If you just knew something to help against those frustrating itches...” she offered, muttering as she curled her neck to look at the burns with her silent gaze. But her lips were stiff and if she was honest with herself she much preferred it to go on as it was, even if it meant that it would take a little longer for it to be healed. Even though her voice was like a cloud, soft but darkened in doubt, nevertheless she let her golden eyes roll up to his for a moment to give her consent, before she turned them aimlessly at the shrines. “—....You may.”
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[P] light will come again
