A scream caught Gaucho's attention, and for one shimmering moment he thought he had subdued the creature. His mind briefly imagined dropping the carcass in front of the Sun God - not out of pride - but out of a continued desire to protect his family and all that the Sun God held dear.
It was Mara who interrupted these thoughts, hissing and shaking her head violently no. gggirrll sssssscream she whispered into his mind. Gaucho's ears flickered forward, as if trying to physically hear the sound from his memory. A chill ran through his core as the girlish tones replayed in his brain.
Either the monster was very small, female, and badly wounded or..
Zeno.
Gaucho watched his flames dissipate. Although he was not much of an optimist, as he watched a puddle dance with an unseen body, he hoped that he might see scaled legs begin to appear. But he did not, as he knew that he wouldn't. Hooves appeared first, now that they were out from the cloak. Soon after, as Zeno rolled over the clasp that held her new item to her lithe body, he saw his own daughter flailing to put out his flames. The Wildfire's teeth clenched together in his jaw. Not because of the pain caused to his child, but because his senses had been so radically deceived. In that, he was truly proud of Zeno. It was clear now, why her scent was on everything - why her hoof prints littered the ground - and yet she remained hidden from view. She had tricked him - and it was that notion which caused the displeasure on the Wildfire's masculine features.
But it didn't last.
Yes, the Sultan had been tricked - but that it was his daughter who tricked him, washed away his feelings of frustration. Pride instead took its place, even as Zeno shakily began to make her way towards him. She had miscalculated the strength of her Father, even when blinded to her position, but none the less she had played off of his weakness - his desire to protect, and in that she was successful.
Still, this was a spar and although his initial attack had been more or less misguided, there was no reason that a poor start should necessitate a poor finish.
Through a steely gaze, Gaucho watched as Zeno rose into the air. He was surprised that she tried to use flight against him - although she was likely more nimble in the air, he would be considerably faster than she, and was without injury at this point. Why not just run at him? Ahhh, but then the tactics of the young are what contribute to so-called beginners luck. The unexpected and unanticipated are always their strengths. But today, she had used up all of her luck already.
With a grunt and with Mara's mental amusement ringing like bells in his mind, the Wildfire surged forward. His long black limbs pulled him easily across the sands - a landscape similar enough to the Throat that he had no problem with traction. The Wildfire rose swiftly into the air, just as his daughter darted down towards the ground, where his hulking form had been seconds ago.
"Big targets not always easy to hit!" He called over his shoulder as his ever-burning wings carried him higher into the sky. Banking in a wide and slow arc, the Wildfire brought his body around to try and face his child's ascent. If she wanted this to be an aerial battle, she would quickly learn that it would be much harder to catch him here.
With a low and amused hiss, Mara bit the corner of Gaucho's ear to spill enough blood to awaken one of the other magics that lingered in his soul. Smoke billowed from his antlers, immediately forming into 5 eagle-shapes. With talons and eyes of fire, the flaming birds darted towards Zeno. They spread out, trying to come at her in a wide array so that they would be harder to evade, regardless of which direction Zeno turned. As they did so, Gaucho rose higher into the sky, trying to position himself above Zeno, with the sun just to the side of himself. His intent was that when she looked to find him to try and retaliate, she would be sun-blinded and disoriented.
Vorsa, bored by the fighting, darted after the faux-eagles, hoping that they would play with her.
WC: 733
Attack: 2/3
Summary: Zeno's attack misses. Gaucho flies into the air, sends 5 eagles of fire after Zeno, and positions himself next to the Sun to be harder to spot.
Teaching Notes
I LOVE how you set this up. That she thought Gaucho was upset with her was MARVELOUS and I think it really ties in well with the relationship that they're forming. It felt entirely natural that she would be like, "Oh shit, why did I do it like this" in the face of his yelling! SO GOOD.
I don't think there were any major grammatical or spelling errors either - so awesome!
I found the amount of damage you took + how it was taken a little unrealistic. Gaucho rolled Damage: 1d6 rolled for a total of: 2 + 8 - the most damage Gaucho can do is 14 and the least is 9. So rolling a 10, for Gaucho, is actually on the lower side of what he's capable of (for 'average' characters without all of the buffs, the range is usually 6ish-12ish). So the fact that you took a HUGE amount of damage, seemed unrealistic for what was actually rolled. Also, the fact that Zeno just stood there instead of running away, or trying to fly above the flames, also seemed unrealistic. You sort of wrote that she was shell-shocked and so maybe that accounts for standing still but ultimately I think that her natural reflexes would have kicked in, and she would have ran. So in the future, be sure to consider how much damage you ought to take, and how to realistically take it. Because if you roll a 10 damage, and then a 15, it makes sense for the '15' injury to obviously be worse. But since you took this 10 so extreme, it's going to be weird if he rolls higher and you aren't 'as hurt' because you overdid this one.
When I write spar posts, often I'll get to my actual attack and have like... 150 words left. It's the worst. But really try to make sure that your attacks are clear. For instance - were you flying directly towards Gaucho? If so, it doesn't seem clear to me why you would attack his rump - that would mean flying over his head (where Mara could bite you), dipping down to kick him, and then flying away. Or if you were coming from behind, then make sure you say that!
Just things to work on! Overall things are awesome!!
Also for what it's worth, in regular spars (basically anything that is not a challenge) you do not need to include 'damage taken' or a summary. Lots of people include summaries to make it easier, but judges will literally never look at these. If it wasn't clear in your post, then it doesn't count. Same with damage - if how and where you were injured isn't clear in your post, you can't 'make up for it' by including a summary. But like I said, lots of people include these to be helpful, but they aren't needed if you don't want to do them :P
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a daughter's worth. [zenobia vs. gaucho]
