and you, you knew the hand of the devil.
and you, you kept us awake with wolf’s teeth.

I listened as silence overtook the Hauruspex’s cave. Ashamin seemed to mumble to himself for mere moments but by the time I was finished talking, his eyes met mine briefly before shifting to the outside. His words weren’t exactly the things I wanted to hear, but they were honest. Great advice for something that had my head wrapped up in a blanket of confusion. I only lowered my head as he continued. I said nothing, silence falling on my lips until he had finished. He was right. Tembovu’s life wasn’t mine. His child wasn’t mine – even if I wanted it to be. It wasn’t. And I had to come to terms with that. Facing loneliness was something I had gotten used to from birth, but here in Helovia I finally got to experience what true love and feelings were and what wonderful things could come from it. I could survive it, but the problem was that I didn’t want to. I nodded to him, my left ear flickering back slightly before a small sigh had emitted from my maw before I lifted my head a little bit further.

“Thank you,” I began, clearing my throat slightly before my blue eyes turned slightly more downward, watching his hooves from the distance I held. “I’ve just been through so much in my life thus far that I was hoping perhaps something would’ve gone right for once.” I smiled meekly, sweeping slightly further into the darkness of the cave before resting a hind hoof on the stone. “I was a princess back home. It sounds cliché, I know. My mother was the Queen of the lands I was born into. My father was the leader of our armies. As I’m sure you know the King had trouble with that. After my birth my parents were killed by the King and I was raised a servant.” I paused for a few moments, wondering if I should even continue or not. “I didn’t even know I was partially royal until a rival herd came in and the King searched for diplomacy. Offered me as his daughter for their prince. Things didn’t go very well. We hardly got along, but I was the mare. I was supposed to follow his footsteps and not second guess his judgement. And so I did.” I paused again. The smile fading from my lips.

I shifted my weight and swished my tail against my ankles lightly, turning my head to let my gaze fall along the outside world. “I’m sure this is new for you, but I even had a child with him. He…” My voice cracked, turning into more of a hushed sound as my eyes flickered close for few moments. “He didn’t make it to birth. The prince then found out about the lies the King had thrown them and had attempted to kill me. And so I spent the last three years escaping him, coming across Helovia. I was nearly captured once. But I had ways of getting out of it, the ways of which I used with the first stallion I met here.” My voice was gentler, strong but not that of a strong mind – more of strength of a broken heart and trust issues. “I met Caleb. He was the one that I had seduced. We had been a thing off and on, really. Until I met Tembovu. That’s the mammoth that’s given me more heart troubles than anything else.” My heartbeat raced at the mention of his name. A flurry of happiness and sadness mixing into my stomach at the thought of his possible child. “I cut everything off with Caleb and did my best to fix my mistakes with Tembovu – but alas it failed. He’s not even sure if the child is his.”

Moments passed. Ears flickered to and fro with every few seconds. “He is the one I think I can’t live without, but it appears he can live without me.” Shooting my head up to let my gaze land on Ashamin, I inhaled sharply before flattening my ears in a kind of regretful stance. “I have so many regrets, I think I need to speak with Caleb.” I finally said, glancing along Ashamin’s face in the hopes of approval. Hoping deep down that he could understand why I was the way that I was. For survival.

"Talk?"