and you, you knew the hand of the devil.
and you, you kept us awake with wolf’s teeth.

My entire body grew hot. Hotter than I ever felt before. Hotter than when Calstron grabbed me within his magic and ravaged my brain. Hotter than the feeling of regret I had after seeing my child dead at birth. Hot to the point where I felt shattered in a million pieces. He spoke, but my feelings didn’t get better. They burned, tortured. I could understand his upset during the whole Caleb situation. But this situation was different. He spoke of her not being in heat and I cringed away from the word. My throat tightening with a ball as my eyes burned with hot stinging liquid. Tears. Tears of which I wouldn’t shed.

Not in front of him, at least. I shrunk into myself, growing numb from the heat and pain. Numb from the salty waters that weaved between my gold and ashen legs. Shaking my head briefly, trying my best to get rid of the pain I felt reaching the surface, the gift he had given me wavering across my forehead ever so slightly. My face was more sensitive now due to the bruises and I could’ve cringed at the feeling of each single loop sliding to one side of my head. There I stood, motionless. Covered in blood and pain, trying my best to suck in my sadness.

It began to feel impossible.

“I was hurt – I thought you did not want me…”

I kept my head away from him. “If I didn’t want even a chance with you, I wouldn’t have called you my friend.” My voice quivered, visibly with a small shake of my body that was entirely uncontrollable. I wasn’t going to break in front of him. I had already. Too many times. Strong women didn’t do this. I was strong, wasn’t I? After everything I had been through, all the years of struggling I had succumbed to, I was strong. But I was breaking at a simple word emitted from someone I had only just met. Perhaps my best bet was to just fade away. Pretend that none of this happened. But I knew deep down that this wouldn’t work. I couldn’t just pretend this never happened. I couldn’t pretend that we didn’t happen. There was far too much emotional stress tangled up in this to just fake it. Not like I had before. It felt like losing my child again, but in such a different way.

“Do you think what we have is so easily replaced?”

I nodded. I did think that. That’s how it had ALWAYS been. I had always been replaced. Never once had I been asked to stay. And suddenly I couldn’t control my waterworks any longer. Hot tears streamed from my black lined eyes, lids shut tightly before I opened my watery blues to face Tembovu. Was it for the last time? Did he want that? Did I want that?

“You don’t understand.” Voice wavering, tears streaming. “All the love I’ve ever given has been easily replaced.” I cried.

Breathing in, shuddering, my body vibrating with broken inhales and wavering exhales. I turned from him again as he spoke again. We were broken souls. But two broken souls could not be mended together when the pieces don’t fit. Maybe that’s what we were. Puzzle pieces that didn’t fit. And as much as it killed me to think that way, it was becoming more of a reality as time slid on. Hawks crying in the distance, water lapping against my legs. I shook my head again. How could I even reply to that? He was right. I didn’t know what to say to him. I needed to say something to him, but I couldn’t. Between the shaking of my body, steaming tears, and the shattering of my broken soul, I couldn’t say anything else. And even if we were two separate puzzle pieces – would we ever fit?

“I loved you Temb. More than I’ve ever felt before. I can’t imagine a life – this life – anymore without you. But we can’t keep doing this to each other.” My head lowered, defeated. Standing like silhouettes against the waves. Blood stained, broken souled, silhouettes. Ready to be washed away at any moment.

"Talk?"