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Even as you walk through its halls, admiring the beauty and the memories that have been built here, your heart does not bloom with happiness as it would have, once. As of late you have spent more time away than you have here, and you cannot deny the rift that has grown in your heart, the way it seems to have cleaved itself from this place, only to chase something—someone—else. You smile despite yourself then, the images of the time you had spent on the beach with him flooding unbidden through your mind, your skin tingling in every place he had touched, your heart thrumming as you remember how it felt to feel infinite. There was a time when it would have scared you (and, somewhere deep down, the chill of fear still clings tightly within the fading shadow of your doubt) to have felt the things you feel, know the things you know, but, somehow, it feels so utterly right. It is only as the mouth of a cave looms before you, the dark coolness that lingers inside permeating your skin that you are pulled to the present, your wild eyes blinking against the contrast of the sun and the little cave shared between the three of you. Your eyebrows furrow at the thought of them, their faces blurred within your mind’s eye, slowly coming in to focus as your lips tenderly drag over the ferns and plants left to dry.
Where it had been untouchable, your heart now looms in the depths of your stomach, weighed down by an immense feeling of guilt. You hadn’t even bothered to think of them, of those that had taken you in and allowed you to flourish under their care; hadn’t even thought of the possibility of there being repercussions for your absence, despite Lena’s expertise, despite Tiamat’s endless desire to learn, to help, to mend in whichever way necessary. Even Nox you had abandoned, recalling the man that seemed so strangely out of place in such a role as healing, but seemingly just as eager as you had been. It is then that your eyes begin to water, even as you try to blink the hot tears away, your muzzle still hovering over the Basin’s store. You did not come home to say goodbye, too rooted in your responsibilities, too concerned for the care of those you would call family, too fragile to just let them go. There is only one question on your mind, for all of the sentiment that is so stuck in your heart: why does it feel like you have already left?
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like punching in a dream, breathing life into a nightmare
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[P] i didn't believe it when they called you a hurricane
