Auriel

Anxiety. Dejection. Anguish. These emotions feel foreign to me, unsettling in the places where my blithe used to be. They fill my bones and course through my blood, weighing my heart down to a point where I think it might explode if anymore emotions find their way in. But every step I take without my mother, father, and sister by my side pushes my feelings farther and farther, making my heart heavier and heavier.

I’m angry at them, more angry than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Why didn’t they look for me? To what regard did they hold my life? Did they think of me as disposable, as inferior? Had they found Shida and her dog more exemplary than myself and given up on me? I wanted to scream at them, to tell them I matter, too, but I wasn’t sure if it would make a difference now.

I’m so angry at them for not looking for me, but I’m angrier at myself for running away. I ran when the invasion happened, and I ran when I couldn’t find my family. I was too weak, too scared, and so I ran. At first I thought they would come for me, run to my side when they realized I was gone. They would nuzzle me and apologize for letting me hurt. But they never came. Days went by, weeks, months, I think. I’ve lost track.

Now I’m a wanderer, I guess. I’m not lost - I think in order to be lost you have to be trying to go somewhere. I’m not trying to go anywhere. I travel to keep myself from getting bored. The wandering is tiring, and tedious, but it’s something to do. The traveling has sort of gotten to me lately - I’ve started to forget small memories and things about myself. I’ve made it a habit to recount every aspect of my life everyday in an effort to not forget myself. It’s scary to be out here alone sometimes, but I’m sure it’d be scarier to forget who I am.

I go over my identity usually when I’m wandering. My name is Auriel. [The landscape began to morph slowly, becoming hotter and the ground rougher.] I was born to Oxy and Elsa in the Hidden Falls. [The trees stop.] My twin sister, Shida, and I were born during birdsong. [I am numb to changing surroundings at this point.] I have magic, smoke based, probably inherited from my parents. [I press on, focusing my pale gaze more on my hazy, onyx breath than the sand beneath my hooves.] I have a red feather in my mane, a gift from a raven.

I only pause my wandering to look around when I see a wall. It’s huge. I stop going over my list. I pin my dark, hawk-like wings to my side and shy away from the wall. It makes this place look like a fortress. I'm not lost, but I'm not sure here is where I want to be.

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wee auri is here! @Shida or maybe someone who can tell her Shida is here and alright? :3 (but pls be nice auri is smol)

she belongs to the fire