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01-06-2016, 01:24 PM
"I did not know that I was leaving, until I was long gone."
I couldn't help but stare and wonder if that was what it was like for everyone that just left? Did they just go for a walk and not stop? Did they not realize that they were leaving everything behind until they finally looked and noticed that everything around them was totally unfamiliar? Was it really that easy to leave behind everyone that cared about you, and everyone that you cared about? I couldn't fathom just walking and not stopping. I couldn't imagine just leaving everyone I cared about behind and I guess that's why I'm always the one being left. Some are destined to leave and some are destined to be left, its just our lot in life.
"In chasing those who left me, I left others. I committed the sort of injustices of the heart that I was struggling to sentence my family to.."
I was guilty of chasing after everyone that left me behind as well, but there was one big difference between Rhoa and myself-- I didn't leave. I was mindful of everyone that I loved and I stayed. I didn't want to subject them to the same hurt that came with being left, abandonment, whatever you want to call it. I knew how much it hurt, but I also knew the desire to find the ones that you loved and hold them close and tell them to never leave you again, so I couldn't hold it against him completely. There's a desperation that comes with wanting the ones you care about to be with you again. We all feel it, I think, and we all handle it differently.
"Promise?" I asked when he said that he wouldn't do it again, but really what use were promises when they were typically broken?
The conversation turned quickly back to crafting and I nodded when he said I had a lifetime to practice. It was true, I supposed, but I didn't agree when he said that I was probably leaps and bounds ahead of where he had been. "To be that advanced I would have had to practice... which I didn't." I shrugged as if it weren't a big deal, but I did feel guilty. I felt like I was letting Gaucho down, which was something I never ever wanted to do. "You could..." I agreed when he suggested becoming a warrior. "But the offer to be my crafting partner still stands." I smiled a little and I wondered if he would even remember, forever ago when we stood talking in the grove, that I asked if he would be my partner.
"."
Mother, make me
Make me a big tall tree
So I can shed my leaves and let it blow through me
Make me a big tall tree
So I can shed my leaves and let it blow through me
aud pixel!
