Rasta was uncertain of how it was to go on ahead and proceed. He said that he wished he was dead, when she had said she thought he had been this time. It sent some kind of chill down her spine – something she noticed but couldn’t place the feelings for. She was too numb to place those feelings, to think, to comprehend just what exactly was happening. He seems to hold still, merely turning his head when her red-tailed hawk finally lands upon his flesh to show him the emotions she was incapable of finding at the moment.

He looked so… so gone. She couldn’t quite figure out how to help him when she knew that this wasn’t a home for her – it wasn’t somewhere she wanted to be. He asks if she had been leaving and she said she was trying to build up courage. His only response was an “I see”. It made her gut wrench, turn, spin, make her wish that horses could puke. ”I was afraid that if I left to find you… that you’d come back and think I didn’t care. And then I was afraid that if I stayed… that you might end up dying alone.” Was it even worth the attempt at an explanation? Oh, how she hoped it would make this entire situation somewhat better in the long run. But, for now, it just felt like a weak excuse for her inability to find strength to feel, to try and move forward. She was frozen in time in her mind like her body had been for so many years. Except now, the world was spinning so fast she couldn’t even try and keep up.

Cautiously, she inquires about the blood. She was not prepared for the way he flinched (or at least she assumed he flinched from the vibrations and Ettore’s reaction). He gave some back story. Something about his sister being pregnant and wanting to find the other sister. Okay, honourable enough. Far better than some of her ventures with no words. But he said he found a body… Was the blood all this ‘Hana’s’ or… ah, it was the people who had killed her. He had slaughtered them for revenge. He was shaking, and it was only then that she found some kind of strength to step forward and offer what little embrace she could find. ”How do you know? How do you know that they killed her to get to you?” It’s a weak question – as weak as her beating heart, but she can’t stand to see him in this much pain, regardless of the fact that she knows in her heart the Falls is not the right place for her to stay (to call a home).

She goes to shake her head, but decides not to in the end. ”It doesn’t matter. If they slaughtered anyone they deserved to die the same death as well… senseless…” Whispered, and fractured at the end. She deserved to be alone, for how many she had abandoned to try and find her path. Ettore digs his talon’s into Alleo’s hide – not deep enough to draw blood, but hard enough to pinch his flesh and try and garner his attention. It was a rabbit hole, and not a good one to be heading down.

She feels sick. ”Alleo… do you want Ettore to find Lakota? We can talk later – for there is more I want to say… but after the loss I don’t feel it to be the right time…” The middle of Orangemoon is looming in closer and she told Cera to give her until then. Aye, she would hold true to that promise. She wanted to finally find a home. ”If you want me to stay right beside you for a little while longer I will… I can’t begin to understand the pain.” And she couldn’t begin to feel the pain either. So numb. So gone. So frozen.