| Outcast atk: 8 | def: 11.5 | dam: 5.5 |
| Stallion :: Unicorn :: 15.2 HH :: 5 [Frostfall] HP: 79 | Buff: NUMB |
|
Lochan :: Plain Cerndyr :: Dark Mist
& Rakt :: Common Cerndyr :: Starpast
Jen |
ASHAMIN
Slowly, the effects of the rain had begun to increase. Ashamin hadn't noticed it at first, but now as he stood, watching the inevitable, it all became clear to him. The cold way that the droplets struck his coat almost burned. Muddy mixtures of blood, rain, and dirt ran down the haruspex, leaving lines like tear trails along his warrior's form. Lochan, Ashamin's little eye, was running headlong into danger, and what was Ashamin doing?
Standing. Just... standing. The tigress had tumbled away with the kick and not returned, apparently schooled well enough, and the silver enemy had not drawn near to attack once again. That buck had been enough for him, apparently. Ashamin waited, then, in complete pain of the body and heart. Blood washed away from claw marks that still ached, sending shivers through his chest as it passed along the bulging skin that covered a newly cracked rib. How would he even get home? He watched, numb helpless and terrified, as Lochan attacked; would he have to go back alone?
No, the haruspex should have had more faith than that. Lochan was fast and had been watching long enough to know where to strike. With a tilt of his head the cerndyr somehow sliced the crucial flesh of the opponent, exposing the innards of a leg with ease. Ashamin's jaw dropped and dark, coal eyes grew wide enough that their whites showed.
L-l-lochan... his mind stuttered as his heart went blank. Before Ashamin could warn the young cerndyr about the retaliating buck Lochan was leaping cleanly away, catching only the very edge of the silver one's hoof upon his rump. The pain was sharp but minor, equivalent to that of an irritation more than anything else, and Ashamin was barely able to register it through their bond. The haruspex wanted to worry but couldn't, not when the cerndyr's eyes turned upon him with their unbreakable gaze. Lochan was fine and had only been clipped by the enemy; maybe the companion was inconsequentially bruised, but he was brand new compared to his battered bonded. The cerndyr landed at last a fair amount of paces away, slipping in the mud but recovering well enough. On the sidelines, he would not be harmed.
What about Ashamin, then? The bold haruspex was reduced to nearly nothing as his companions fought his battles for him, and eerily well. Lochan's budded antlers dripped with red, blood that crossed over his markings and painted him in the stench of passing life. Ashamin's flanks and back heaved and shivered, his right rib screamed out every time he tried to inhale. What was he, but useless?
The painted buck at least had his eyes. He was shocked by Lochan's quick mercilessness, perhaps even scared by it, but not totally incapacitated. The first sign of his enemy's magic was a glimmer of spark in the air, just bright enough that it could be made out despite the thick mists, and Ashamin did not have the patience or energy to withstand whatever was to come. Without the time to wait and see exactly what that magic was, he would have to find out later.
With a grimace, Ashamin lowered his head and grabbed the chain of his necklace, thrusting forth his moon amulet at the same moment that he lashed his long tail towards the opponent. The weight of the Bear God's mask was not too much but it was more than a burden than he had the energy to carry, so his grip was tenuous. Still, it was good enough; whatever the enemy had planned fizzled and mixed with the dark mists inside the small, bottle-like moon charm and Ashamin let go of the chain, dropping it to his chest again. His coiled tail sparked innocently as he aimed it vaguely for the open flesh on the other buck's hind legs, he was too tired to care which one. Hopefully the rain could amplify the coil's effects and cause some real (and well deserved) damage to his enemy's pillars.
Ashamin, so crippled by pain, was unable to move any other part of his body to attack but he had at least his magic on his side. At the last second he tried to cast forth his own heartbeat as he had against the Rift Bear God, hoping it would reach the enemy and distract him so he wouldn't notice the other attack headed his way.
This, the haruspex hoped, would be the end. It had to be, for he could barely stand. Everything was blood and hurt, and whatever sense he had of his life had faded the moment Lochan had torn those legs apart as if they were nothing but the strings of a spider web. How had Ashamin not seen that strength before?
""
The Haruspex
|
798/800 (wordcounter.net)
Post: 3/3 A | 0/0 D
Notes: My deepest apologies, I did not mean to take this long with my reply. Life ate me for a while there and when I was on absent I had trouble getting back into the groove afterwards, have had half of this written for like forever. Forgot to update injuries in the last post too, my b.
TEACHING
What Worked
Environment usage: I loved the description you had in the beginning of your post about the mud and how it made them look and feel. It's a little detail but an important one, so good job keeping it in mind.
History: The little snippet that I got of Ciceron's past here was something I didn't know about him by reading other regular posts. It's really interesting how he thinks about pain and why he thinks about it that way. Not to mention he shows his experience here, which in part justifies how well he's doing in this spar. Since Ciceron is no stranger to pain he's able to withstand it to inflict it. Similarly, he also understands that a less experienced fighter like Ashamin might be totally knocked out by a few good hits in the beginning. While the effectiveness of those attacks was really reliant on dice, in character it should be reliant not on luck but on your character's skill. Ciceron is pulling it all off really well here, it's smart to take a moment to acknowledge that.
Emotion: Bam! When Ashamin hurts Kiara that response in instantaneous. As always and before, you write the pair of them wonderfully. This is just one of the many moments where I've felt in this post and spar as a whole Ciceron's emotion was really present and on point. I've never once been struggling for muse to write my own posts because yours were dry, every post is overflowing with him and his feelings (in the best way!)
What Needs Work
Companion magic: Lochan is still at an age where he has a limited capability of dark mists, so his magic might not be so effective that it would STILL be muddling Ciceron's thoughts. On top of that, Lochan's dark mists attack was early on in the battle and accompanied by a very low roll of a one. Effects from 1 rolls shouldn't usually last more than one post, or be something that consistently bothers you throughout the fight.
Companion damage: Don't take too much of it. It's true that a six is a big roll, but Ashamin's damage isn't especially high at a 4.5 and that is also part of what you should factor in. You say that Kiara is "clipped," but that also sends her rolling into the mud. Cat's have incredible balance and even if they didn't, clipping someone isn't something that's necessarily going to send them reeling like that. Heck, hardened fighters like Ciceron and Kiara in the movies get clipped by bullets and they still stay standing, as do hunted animals. In part this was your wording, but you seemed to take more damage to Kiara than you needed to, especially given the damage Ciceron takes. I took my 1 roll here as Lochan getting clipped by Ciceron since it made sense anyway and might show you how it could affect him.
Damage and attack interpretation: First thing's first, be as specific as possible when talking about where you take the damage. It can feel stilted but it's important. Where on the hind legs did Lochan get Ciceron? With what you said it seems like it could be anywhere from stifle to fetlock, which is a big range. Next, you should think about whether or not it's even possible for Lochan to have inflicted the damage as you read it. I have, both on his profile and in my previous post, that his antlers are just buds, not fully grown in. So they're not exactly sharp or big enough to slice open tough old Ciceron's legs. Plus, Lochan himself is not very big. He's a plain Cerndyr (2.5 feet and 60 lbs according to the guidebook) and not even a year old, so he's less than half of Ciceron's height and I don't know how much Ciceron weighs, but maybe 1/16th of his weight. So Lochan is not very big, and probably not very strong, and his antlers aren't fully grown in. Logistically any damage he would have done might have been more like blunt force. Even if Lochan could have pulled that off, I'm not sure you needed to take quite so much damage. Given Ashamin's damage, tearing open just one of the hind legs and not taking a hit to Kiara would have been probably been enough. Also, I'm not sure Ciceron would have been able to kick back with his legs so horribly torn up--remember that damage like that will have a lasting effect.
Describing magic: Just a little thing, but I would have liked a bit more description of Ciceron's magic attack. If not for the summary it would have maybe not been quite clear enough to understand, and you have to be sure that the attack is obvious without the summary.
See Ashamin's profile for more information about Lochan, Rakt, and his various items.
All magic and force allowed, barring death and permanent injury.
Do not tag me, please message on skype instead
|
.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
