amaris

Where oh where did they dragongirl go?

The location was more metaphysical than physical – her hooves did not depart Helovian soil but her mind certainly did wander. The youth used her time to grow, to think, to learn and evaluate what she wanted from her life. She spent a lot of time doing this – she almost forgot how to actually live. And she grew, physically, mentally, emotionally – she changed.

What is for the better?

Only an observer could be a judge of that. The mare had decided to cease living a life pleasing others – there was a difference to living a life of servitude for one’s own self-worth and living it in hopes of bettering the opinions of those surrounding you. Amaris has grown, and learned, that the only soul she truly needed to please was her own.

And once she embraced that, she seemed to transform.

The mare was both a golden dragon and a champagne horse. She was a magical, mythical blend of the two, come together in a clash of amber fur and glimmering scales that danced across her hide. Now, when she caught a glimpse of herself in a pool of water, or upon the curious walls of the Heart Caves, or even against the Frozen wall of the Arch, she did not shudder with loathing of herself, with confusion and hatred for being so different, so ugly and malformed. How could she boast to be so welcoming and accepting of all those around her when she could not even accept and love herself?

So she made the conscious decision to love herself, to cherish herself and to listen to her needs. The dragongirl wanted to help others still, it was simply her nature, but now she could do so without feeling a failure for simply existing the way she was, for simply being who and what she was.

The relief was almost palpable when the realisation struck her that she had been successful in eliciting this change within herself. If I look back I am lost, she would hum to herself, though still she would occasionally stumble, and look back into those dark days of her past, and trip and stumble – but always she looked ahead again, and focussed on creating the life she could and would love to live. With confidence she strode through the lands now, always observing, ever polite and always seeking to improve upon the person she was the day before – sometimes she did not succeed, but even that in itself was a success, because then she had more to learn from, more to grow with, more to develop and maybe even teach to others, should they care to listen to her soft tones.

The sensation that tugged at her was entirely unexpected, however. It was like a ping, an alarm, a hook latching onto her heart and luring her in to a place she had not been to for many turns of the moon – her very birthplace, the World’s Edge. But more importantly – she knew who was calling her. It caused fear to carve an icy trail through her – Akaith had only very rarely called to her like this, only in times of need – and from her current sensation, she felt the direness of this particular occasion. So the dragongirl spread her wings and flew, pushing herself desperately into the skies and tilting her body to race the dawn to the lands where she cut herself free from her own mother’s body. Anxiety caused her tail to lash nervously behind her – her whip snapped with a sharp zap as she did so.

What will I find..? Deep down, she knew what was coming – her mother’s little queen would not summon her for anything else, and Amaris touched on the magic she had neglected for so long at the thought of it. Today, she would need the comfort and company of her beloved draconic souls, so that they may farewell the first bonded queens to walk Helovia together.

A bright blue light and white one appeared by her sides, shining strongly against the twilight of the early morning, as the dragongirl landed closer to the Grove than the Edge, southerly and generally out of the way. Her ears pricked as the Sun rose, and she heard the telltale melody of dragonsong upon the wind. It was enough to bring tears to her eyes as she listened to the farewell her mother and bonded sung to the lands. Amaris was not so afraid of her emotions any more – now she knew how to recognise them, feel them, and then move on, she allowed them to dance across her features at this time of great sadness and sorrow. It seemed only breaths had passed and suddenly she was watching her mother, an unassuming black mare, embrace her little queen one last time – Akaith could not hold back any longer, she just had to -

So she pushed through the bushes and approached them, afraid that any second might be their last. Without hesitation she bent herself around her mother’s nape and wept into her dark, silken threads of mane. She whickered and murmured into her shoulder and purred deeply in a way that only dragons (or those with dragon’s blood) can do as Akaith fluttered to Mirage’s back to hum and caress her farewells upon the young mare.

“Don’t… go,” she murmured between sobs, succumbing to the selfishness that screamed at her to do anything, everything to stop this from happening.