you're my mortal flaw
and i'm your fatal sin

[I am the literal worst but here he is ;-;]

Kaj despaired over the fact that he had not been able to see Areli for quite some time. It was another lump of hatred that he volleyed at Other Kaj, for being sucked so far into his own petty emotions that he had forgotten all about those who loved him and relied on him. He had adopted quite a few fledglings and ushered them through life beneath the boughs of his wings, but he had grown particularly attached to Ilios, Areli, and Aeolus. Unfortunately it just so happened that alongside all three youths there were two mares who seemed keen on a heart he placed no value in. Not that Kaj could remember their affections or declarations, but even if he did he would not understand what they saw in him or why they sought him out. Was it a title thing? Surely there were so many more eligible bachelors in Helovia if not the Hidden Falls. Other Kaj was a rightful mess! Their proclamations seemed unfounded, and perhaps he was a bit unfair to them in his fear of further heartbreak, but he truly did not consider himself worthy of their selfless adoration. 

It didn't matter, not when they were surrounded by gauze and gaping holes. All he knew was that he had not seen the foals he considered like his own children in far too long, and that was unforgivable. 

Had they forgotten him? Did they hate him for deserting them as so many others in their life had? He had never wanted to be another one of those errant vagabonds, drifting in and out of their life, only ever present as their Czar instead of the paternal figure he desired to be. 

So when he caught sight of Areli through the trees, he followed her. 

What he found was...odd and unpleasant, to say the least. 

He recalled Parelia well, having only removed one or two memories of her. But he also knew of the spat between she and Ciceron, and how Ilios had taken after Parelia in her judgment of the stallion. The child had eventually left for the shores of the Throat, and Kaj had not heard from him since. A large part of him bristled at the idea that Parelia might attempt to convince Areli to leave alongside her, when the Falls was far safer than any wildland that Parelia deigned to exile herself to. That Parelia thought she should spin yet another tale to a child in this manner rankled the Czar, who stared impassively from behind the dappled child. It was never okay to subject a foal to the problems of their parents, and especially not dropping such a huge announcement as abandonment with clearly no prior discussion about it. And on top of that dropping the bombshell that Parelia was pregnant?

"She does not need to know the adult details all in one sitting," Kaj rumbled disapprovingly, unable to hold his tongue though he had to remind himself that Areli was not his child and he had no say in her parenting. "Find peace wherever your travels find you. But if Areli agrees...I hope she will remain here in the Falls." Impassive mask seemed to harden ever further as pale blue eyes swept over to Parelia. "The wilds is no place for someone so young. The herdland will provide her with protection until she wishes to join you." But his tone made it clear that he could not stop either of them if they both decided to leave.