GRIMALKIN
Realism [+2.5]
You have a good sense of fighting mechanics with proper attacks and defenses, and a lot of good explanation, especially for little details which are easily overlooked, such as in your third post how you describe the body’s natural inclination to flinch is actually very helpful. There were some other aspects though which, though minor, added up and took your score lower than it might otherwise have been.

For instance in your second post you write the timing as if the dragon froze the sand and then Volterra reared at you, however Volterra wrote it as being nearly simultaneous, so I would have liked to see it follow more along those lines. In that same post you describe Grimalkin’s hooves as being sharp, but offer no other explanation than that, and since horse hooves are not naturally sharp this seemed unrealistic.

You handled the translation of dice into injury well and for the most part were descriptive of your injuries - in fact I liked seeing that you mentioned your bruise from post 2 in post 3. However your closing defense had very little detail of the injuries sustained, especially from the dragon, so it was difficult to tell if you took accurate damage or not.

What I really liked was how well you continually tied in the stat/breed differences and the surroundings. You even made a point to say height didn’t always mean strength, because though Grimalkin was shorter than Volterra his strength stat was higher, and I liked how your endurance seemed to fail in your closing defense which tied in well with Volterra being stronger in endurance. You were both tied for speed and agility though, so beware when you mentioned Volterra’s speed is how he caught up to Grimalkin for his cow kick!
Your surroundings were well done though, especially with detailing how Grimalkin’s heavy feathering was affected by the moisture and sand, how sand and snow had some similarities, and how the rain to some extent helped soothe his wounds.

“A shallow cut, surrounded by hoof-shaped bruising, swelled almost immediately at the site of impact - but the sting was washed away in the downpour, as the constant thrum of rain stimulated his nerves to the point of saturation, and numbing.”


Emotion [+0.5]
Throughout this fight I never got a great sense of Grimalkin’s character. That’s he’s a warrior and he assesses his tactics well was about all I gleaned during the whole fight, and it came off very clinical without many invoked emotions. Work in tying more reaction from Grimalkin when he succeeds or fails, or what motivates him to fight (something about proving to his old homeland you wrote, but that was only one sentence and I knew nothing more about them!).

I did really like the following:
“Grimalkin would have screamed had he been a man of lesser constitution - as it was, he grunted and ground his teeth in annoyance, ears pinning further down into the depths of his soaked mane and nape.”


Prose [+3.5]
Lovely posts to read with great vocabulary, flow, and imagery.


Readability [+2.5]
Your posts were very readable, just some typos here and there and a couple tense changes that disrupted it.

P1:
“Certainly, hide when things became deadly so that one may live on…” (tense changes from prior writing)
“... to pommel someone…” (pummel)

P2:
“...caused the icy to break…” (ice)
“...enough, he…” (enough. He)
“...in one foul swoop…” (fell swoop)

P3:
“..and blend into the dark …” (tense change)
“...reverberates within Volterra's chest that alert Grim to…” (alerts)
“..after being pommelled…” (pummeled)
“...A savage snarl pulled back the stallion's lips, as, dragons forgotten about, he…” (too many commas)
“...attempt to pommel …” (pummel)


Finally tally: 36+(9*2)= 54 HP


VOLTERRA
Realism [+3.5]
I felt you did very well in this fight and really enjoyed what a diversity of realism you brought with how well your attacks, defenses, timing, injury, and stat/surroundings descriptions were. Your second post in particular read very well.

One thing that kept getting to me though was your constant mentions of Volterra slipping in sand. On it’s own sand is not very slippery, in fact it’s rather good at ‘gripping back’ almost and holding you, which is why you tire so easily in sand because it’s hard to push off of, since it does roll and shift, but it’s nothing like slick ice or snow or mud where you slip constantly. Even when wet, sand holds the moisture and traction well, which is why sand is such a prized landscape addition for wet areas. So I found it unrealistic to call the sand slimy or slippery, such as when you slipped on apparently nothing but the sand in post 2 (a sandy hill I could see!) and even in post 3, though at least in the latter you were coming back from an unbalancing move so that was more plausible. What you say here is a much more apt description of sand:
“The wet sand sucks away some of his momentum, leading the brute to reconsider any barging attacks; these conditions steal away impetus, destroy his notions of barbaric slamming.”

On a related note, you say your diamond horseshoes help hold Volterra in place for a rear because they are heavier? I’m not sure how any horseshoe would really weigh enough to help, but especially not diamond ones which would weigh less than typical metal ones.

Otherwise great job, especially the tactic in your closing defense of going with the momentum of Grimalkin’s attack instead of against it to help swing you around for a counter attack!


Emotion [+1]
Throughout the fight I felt myself wanting more of Volterra. That he loves to fight and test himself I understood, but it seemed like a surface layer of his character and I was often left wondering what motivated him to such a degree to fight like this. Even the bond with his dragons was all very focused on proper tactic and little feeling - the red one assisted when Volterra slipped and the gold was curious, but again those were very face value emotions that didn’t really explore the bond he shared with them.

“Maybe the middle of a battle is not the best time to reminisce on how fucking awesome life is. “


Prose [+4]
Really beautiful writing in every post with great vocabulary, imagery and flow!

“As his dragons circle above him like deadly gemstones, as the rain slicks his coat and the lightning illuminates every rugged line of his musculature, he feels so god damned alive that he thinks he could scale mountains, soar above the clouds, defeat a bear. In the absence of a bear, this hulking antlered beast will have to suffice.”


Readability [+2.5]
Your posts were all readable with minimal issues.

P1:
“His feet skid and slalom…” (this does not seem like the correct use of slalom, which is specifically defined as a race through winding obstacles)
“Blood pounds through the stallion's body…” (tense change from prior writing)

P3:
“...and has hopefully…” (tense change)


Finally tally: 48+(11*2)= 70 HP