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01-04-2016, 02:04 PM
ashamin
Normally, Ashamin was composed. Normally he had some semblance of composure and he controlled himself. But here he was absent and fire, some sort of emptiness combined with rage until he was nothing. He didn't make sense. Nothing made sense.
He couldn't put the words together anymore. Couldn't figure out where he was, how he felt about it all.
Ki'irha's defense was accident, just as before. His leg shuddered, his spine tingled with the pain of it crawling through his nerves. "I didn't..." he didn't what? Didn't mean it that way, didn't mean anything at all? He had wanted this, to spar with her and prove his mettle. Only he hadn't--hadn't shown her what he was worth, hadn't shown her anything. All he'd done was bleed. And how was that her fault that he was a failure?
"That's not what I meant."
The words felt hollow. His tail fell to the ground, thudding dully on the permafrost. Slowly, his body followed. First the forelegs bent at the knees, the knees that dug into the earth. Then the one leg that could hold itself quivered and collapsed as if it snapped. It was over, all of it was over.
"This isn't your fault, it's mine, I just..." just what, Ashamin? He felt a lump force its way down his throat as his body tilted and fell onto the earth. He looked into the bright sky, hoping for snow that wouldn't come. "I wanted to show you someone different than this. I wanted to show you I could be strong, that I could..." protect you? That wasn't what she needed. She was strong, maybe he needed her. But he was tired of being dependent, he was just... tired.
As he lay on the earth and looked up at Ki'irha, Ashamin knew that more than anything else he wanted to explain to her what she meant. But he didn't know, so the words were unspoken. And too tired and bloody was he to call her closer, too impotent as he lay on the earth. His eyes were wide and hollow, his head turned up to find her. "I think... I think we need a healer."
It wasn't what his heart wanted to say, but it was what his heart knew to be true. And when the haruspex's companion at last caught up and saw the bloody scene, that much became clear. They needed a healer.
""
@Ki'irha
See Ashamin's profile for more information about Lochan, Rakt, and his various items.
All magic and force allowed, barring death and permanent injury.
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