Elsa

Stopping her? Hardly. If she truly didn’t want to be here. She wouldn’t be standing here now screaming at him like a crazed maniac. Elsa was more than capable of escaping unnoticed. It was a skill she had mastered long ago. If she didn’t have such a good hidden conscious she would have taken the path of a sleuth. She was never easy to catch. Unbeknownst to her, she was able to do pretty much everything if her own conscious didn’t hold her back.

In the end, if there wasn’t a mustard seed of doubt, Tembovu would never be able to stop her. Either by night or by force, she could take what she wanted. Part of her wanted to continue to rant, to tell him how stupid he sounded. Was he not standing right here? Did he not see her? He was practically dealing with the devil herself and he wanted to say these things? She was screaming because she had given up. She was screaming because the last shred of her was warning everyone to run as far in the opposite direction as her. Elsa had watched herself degrade slowly over the past months, years even. Maybe there had been a slight slump of hope somewhere, but now she could see that the only direction is down.

So when he trapped her, at first she fought against it. She tried to pull away, but in the same moment she collapsed. And here she was crying again, trying to refrain from beating on him anymore than she already had. It was like being a child again, scared and afraid. Somehow she liked it. But she couldn’t. That would only hurt her more- it would only take her back the same way it had before. Stop apologizing, Tembovu. ”Don’t.” She said brokenly, trying to silence his want for her forgiveness. He didn’t need it. He should be getting her apologies.

And for a few heartbeats she was quiet. Enjoying the last moments her mind could consciously accept. From here on out, he knew enough. He couldn’t possibly get closer. She needed to spare him the trouble of having to leave later. That’s what everyone did- they packed up and left town. He was too good for the Edge, they needed him. She couldn’t ruin him like she did everyone else.

Her mind was trying to spin words together. There was no way he felt the same- he was like this with everyone. So why did she feel so special? It was because she was broken, easily manipulated and then crushed again. It was binding, and suddenly she felt like she was suffocating. It was hard to keep her breaths from exhaling in panic. He didn’t give a damn- well at least he shouldn’t. ”You can’t be sorry for my problems. If anything this spar kept me here at least a couple more days. I gotta see how badly I messed you up.” She laughed weakly at her poorly formulated joke. But again everything snapped back to sadness. The inevitable pit. Carefully she moved her head against his shoulder, trying to dry her eyes as incognito as possible.
 
What was all this? This relationship- this partnership- it was endlessly confusing.

"Morbi vestibulum mollis nibh a varius."
awk elsa is awk

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sometimes we expect too much of ourselves,

afterall, we are only mortal.

The Icebound