Elsa

It felt tense- waiting for him to respond. She knew her joke was a defense mechanism. It was the only way she knew to avert situations that could result in feelings. The beat that fell during the transition of their conversation felt like an eternity to Elsa. But finally he spoke, and it felt comfortable curled against his chest like this. She closed her eyes once again- trying day after day how he called her my queen. She’d seen enough of him to know that this was not exclusive to her- he had quite the way with ladies. And part of her was actually becoming jealous of that fact. More power to him if he’s able to move from girl to girl so quickly.

But her soured thoughts were quickly snuffed at the sound of his voice. It wasn’t as joyful or playful as she had expected. He saw right through her diversion- he knew that she was trying to pretend what she said before wasn’t true. His touch didn’t help either. She just had to stand there- liking it but afraid to say anything. Her words could just as quickly diminish this thing they had.

Truth was, she was trying to find a reason to stay. He was becoming her reason, and that’s why she was desperate as ever to find a way out. Her path was one of destruction, but he was showing her one that was too good to be true. So instead of doing anything- she was still for a long while. Her breaths were shallow, almost inaudible as she was lost in her mind. But it wasn’t because she was trying to find words, it was because she knew what she wanted to say it- but for his own good she shouldn’t. She ground her teeth for a moment as she just inhaled his scent. This would be a really nice time to have some premonition magic or something.
Her body craved an answer- as well as her mind. She couldn’t live this life of what ifs anymore. It sucked. Elsa needed to know what they were. How they were to continue. If she could continue coming to him. If she needed to leave. If she needed to deal with another wave of heartbreak.

But this time she was equipped to handle such disasters. It was a plan she had put in place mere moments after she had been abandoned. Outcast life could suit her just fine. There she would be alone and off the radar. Everyone could forget her like last night’s dream, and they would be happy. She was the only one that needed to be hurt. ”Tembovu…” She murmured quietly, pressing her nose against his shoulder. Breathing in his scent one more time, she spoke in one large exhale of anxiety. ”Give me a reason to stay.” She closed her eyes, shaking gently, preparing for a sudden absence of the embrace. Embarrassment ran rapid through her body- making all of her body tinted a light pink. Tears prickled at her eyes, and she tried to hold it back as much as possible. No use making her face uglier than it was by mixing salty tears with dried blood.

Her mind ticked away the reasons he would leave. She was incapable. She was half blind. She’d already been ruined- no longer fresh out of the package. The worst part was him interpreting this wrong. She knew nothing about his life- so she could easily gain a response along the lines of mutual respect. A sort of “friendzone” line if you will. But did she even mean it romantically? Of course she did. Because as much as she wanted to hide it- she had been both jealous of him and awe. At first, it was easy to forget it. He didn’t speak to her like this. He didn’t make her feel like this.

’But I am simply a recycled toy. Any decent man would prefer the newer model.’ She thought quietly. For the sake of her sanity, she just hoped he would leave her quietly. Another reprimanding was the last thing she needed. To her, silence spoke louder than words- and was much easier to walk away from.


"Morbi vestibulum mollis nibh a varius."
-cough- wtf. this was not supposed to happen. >.>>>>>

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sometimes we expect too much of ourselves,

afterall, we are only mortal.

The Icebound