Elsa

That moment he pulled away she flinched. Taking a step backward she shied from the moment of weakness she had just displayed. If he reacted like she was expecting- she just ruined a completely good relationship. The rest of her life around him would just be muddled words and awkward interactions (not that they weren’t awkward in the first place). If he rejected her… what choice did she have? Everything would just fall down and suddenly she was aware that not only was her heart on the line- but her actual life. If she tripped and fell off this ledge, she could never live in the Edge. Once again, another land would be struck out, forever hidden away in her black book. The herd was better with him. He was the light. And she was the shadows. Quite contrary to their outer look. Her mother was right when she said looks could be deceiving.

Another pang of emotion flooded into her system as she briefly glanced back into the world of her past. She had done this once before- let her emotions get ahead of herself- and she destroyed the perfect life she had been living only hours ago. It was happening all over again. What comes around, goes back around. A carousel she dreaded being on. She couldn’t see what was around the next bend, and she was terrified and mortified all at once. The words though- the words. If you will let me… well shit. She looked at him, bracing for the impact. Shoved backwards the corner she had just crawled out from.  

But what slipped from his chest was something else entirely. For a moment she was locked in place, and an actual scoff passed her lips. There was no way- those words did not just come out of his mouth. Elsa was dumbfounded, and for the first time in a long time, she didn’t know what to say. No snarky remarks bounced onto her tongue- and instead it was just white noise.

Her mouth was open slightly, tilting her head for a moment in astonishment and terror. What does this mean… what does… her mind was stuttering. Her stomach on the other hand, she felt like she was going to be sick. Her heart was beating rapidly, trying to remind her she needed to breathe. Her face was flooded with heat. Her pain seemed to transcend right now- but unfortunately Edgar did not. ’Say something you idiot.’ He was acutely aware of what was going on, and tried not to step in. But between that fact that he was driven mad by Tembovu’s presence in her mind and his urge to avoid ruining this for her, he implored her to get herself under control.

SHE WASN’T READY.

Frankly she’d never be ready, but when you’re expecting the worse this kind of thing comes as a shock. Blinking one more moment, she slowly began to form some sort of coherent response. This was the number one reason he did all the talking. ”What- what kind of more?” She stuttered out the words like she was in trouble. A schoolgirl caught daydreaming. 

”Tembovu.” She said quietly, taking a step back towards him. The distance physically hurt right now, and since she was coming back down from her high she was acutely aware of the headache that lurked behind her eyes. ”I’m not- I- I can’t be temporary.” She knew about his ways with women, and she was self-conscious of that beyond belief. The details she knew nothing of, but she was more than sure that he had his fair share of consorts. After everything that’s happened, she can’t be another notch. ”What about everyone else?” What about your past that I know nothing of? What about the life you left behind? Would the skeletons in your close hurt me? She bit back the rush of questions. It wasn’t her right to know why he believes himself to be ruinous. That word was not negative in her life- it meant he left something he truly cared for. Whether or not that was a family, a love, a duty, she did not know.
 
And she paused for a moment, marinating on that word. He had done so much to help her- and yet she had done nothing. With another tentative step, she reached out her muzzle to brush it softly against the right side of his face. The height difference made her feel small in his shadow, but she tried her best to be a comfort anyways. Lingering there for a moment, she inhaled before she spoke. ”Tembovu you are capable of things you can’t even imagine. You have an effect on everyone- and you are far from ruinous. You saying that- you truly feeling that, it just lets everyone know how deep your emotions run. And that, my king, is nothing to be ashamed of.” Closing her eyes she lingered, just long enough to await to dream that was quickly going to come to an end. The longer this went on- the more comfortable she felt, but the bigger the fall would be when this came crashing down.


"Morbi vestibulum mollis nibh a varius."
uhm. so. wtf temb why you give me muse >.>

________________________________________

sometimes we expect too much of ourselves,

afterall, we are only mortal.

The Icebound