.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
01-18-2016, 02:26 PM
|
Keidajen
I was struck down. I was killed. I died. Yet still I live. I am not who I once was nor am I who I became. I am who I will be. I exist only in the realm of what may or may not be. The moon is early to her post tonight; already she sways solemnly on the surface of the pond. The face of the moon looks too elegant to be peering into the quaint pond that crumples her visage; like a queen looking into the twice broken mirror of a waif. The charm that the God of the Sun gave to me has lost its flame. No longer do even embers haunt the charm. I had considered throwing the polished charm out for some bird to add to its collection of shiny baubles but I keep it like a personal imp who taunts my failure. I commanded a god yet I have proved to be incapable of completing the quest I had summoned him in order to receive. I still cannot do as little as speak with the Helovians in their tongue so how am I to learn their secrets? One of them could prance up to me at this very moment and spill their most long held secrets and there is a great chance that I would not understand all of the words spoken. I have picked bits and pieces of the language up by staying in the Threshold and listening to all who come through. It has only helped so much though; most newcomers cross over and are greeted during the daylight that overwhelms my right eye to the point of not being able to focus on anything besides the pain. Color is everywhere in this land. It is too much. The sun here is overzealous. It would drive the sun mad if it allowed itself to tone down; it seems almost desperate to make sure that all notice it. I prefer the moon. Quiet and soothing, confident in itself and content with whatever notice it does get. I strive to be more like the moon. I need to learn contentment. I long for Elivian. I burn for it as the sun does for recognition from those below it. No matter how desperate I get nothing will change. It has taken time, but I am coming to terms with being in Helovia. I have no choice but to come to terms with it or to remain a ghost that exists only in the corners of the eyes of strangers, only coming forth whenever one of them is also battling with misery. The mare with markings that had glowed softly as the moon does above me brought me much further in my journey. Although she was cracked she did not break as I did. That mare had been, and is likely still, battling against the demons from her past whenever I surrendered to my own so quickly. My demons are angels though. They are faces that I love with all I have. Faces that I miss more than I would miss the breath that passes from my lips. I do not know how I am supposed to do it but I am going to move past them. Be they angels or demons I am going to build my life beyond them. I am going to have to learn to treasure my breaths more. I have been standing at the edge of the pond staring blindly at my own reflection. Coming back into myself my eyes slide to the reflection of the moon. My gaze stays on it as I step into the pond. The water is cold and it bites at my skin so my steps are initially slow but once I have made it in up to my knees I crash forward. I stop once I am in up to my chest in the middle of the pond. Both my own reflection and that of the moon are made into one by the waves I made. I dunk my head into the water. I allow the water to wash over me. Lifting it once more, with my eyes still closed, I toss my head so that some of the water may fall from me. I stand that way for some time with my head lifted towards the moon, tail streaming out behind me, eyes closed. For this moment I am oblivious to all around me. I tell myself that this water will wash away my memories and hurt. From here I will move onward. ________________________________________________ New posting game: How long can my posts ramble on about nothing at all?
|
