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05-03-2016, 02:34 AM
I want to ask her everything. I want to know her world. My limitations become unbearable; my faults shine clear and cast divisive shadows across my features.
I believe in first impressions. Maybe that's foolish, maybe I'm too young and not well versed enough in second impressions to make that decision, but I really do. I consider our entire meeting one such first impression, and one that taught me several very valuable things. I can't forget that she saved me without ever having known me. I can't forget that she cared. I can't forget that rolling high tone in her voice, the language that she draws from the depths of the ocean and drags on shore, deep into the mainland and down into the heart of the earth to gift to me.
I have a moment of wondering why I am special enough to garner her attentions. I have a moment of the worthlessness that has haunted my existence beginning to pale. And then she asks me if I can speak, when I don't really know the answer but I wish I could say yes, yes! And I speak with the passion of a thousand songs I've been taught by the world, and I speak with the wisdom of love in every syllable, and I speak for you who have saved me and given me so much despite having gotten nothing in return! You generous soul, you monster from the deep so resembling a demon that ruined my body and tortured my mind, you who have conquered all aspects of your outer being to become something beautiful, yes!
But though my lips part and a shallow breath passes through them like beauty unrecognized, no words are born of my want.
Silent, having nothing but the echoes of her new words to comfort me, I shake my head no and look back into the depths of the heart. I can only fight so long, and I can only love so lonely. I will never be strong enough for this life.
""
I am not sure if it is
BETTER OR WORSE
to know all that I do
BETTER OR WORSE
to know all that I do
@Aquila
