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02-15-2016, 09:23 PM
I'm so sorry, she might have said.
I have failed you, she could have cried.
But neither of those things fell from her ivory lips. She could see the pain welling up in his eyes, pain that she had caused him. She could feel the rough edges of his sorrow, threatening to widen the distance between them even as he approached. And she knew that she had been the source of much pain in his life, knew that she had led him astray, that he had only begun to recover after returning to the Dragon's Throat (hadn't he?) but then... then... she couldn't remember, and now he was grown, and how much time had passed?
"Ivezho," she whispered, reaching out to him, to touch her nose to his, to pull him into her embrace, if he would allow it. "Oh, darling," she crooned in the common tongue, searching for and failing to find the proper words in the other. "Darling, I never left you on purpose." It was the truth, though it tasted tart on her tongue. Perhaps she wondered if it would do any good, the truth, or if she had hurt him too deeply, too many times. She knew that she had failed him, knew that it had been so much for him to bear.
And it wasn't just him, was it? It was his siblings, and his father, and their herd. It was everyone that she had cared about, everyone that had offered her love and comfort. She had failed them all, time and again.
And this time, she hadn't even known it.
"Ivezho... what season is it?" she asked, ashamed that she had to ask and afraid to know the answer. How long had she been gone, only to reappear now in this tropical forest, a place that could easily mask the reality of the world outside. It could be the middle of winter, for all she knew, and the realization brought tears to her eyes. How much time had she missed, how many miles had she travelled, and above all, why? Why was she so inadequate at loving, at mothering, at simply being present?
"I'm so sorry," she cried then, choking back a sob, holding onto the thin shred of hope that he would need her, even now, and that it would be enough to give her the strength to move forward.
"Talk talk talk."
Astraeus.
you give up your soul till you break down;
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@Ivezho
