we heal with love,

When he moved toward her, this time Alysanne did not stand her ground. She took a step backward, trying to keep a pace between them - hoping that physical space would help her keep her head clear. But as soon as he started talking, she knew no amount of space would protect her from this. “How… How do my actions absolve yours? Just because I point out something in you does not mean I don’t see it in myself, Tembovu. We are both capable of sinning and I can’t believe you’re naive enough to believe two wrongs actually make a right.” Alysanne may be a hypocrite but that did not mean she was wrong. “You fell to your knees on your own because you were sick. How dare you try to blame me for that?!” She had been yelling at him but he had fallen all on his own - she remembered the shock of the moment. Hemlock had suggested that she knock him down but she hadn’t. She couldn’t. This anger was new but she did not believe that it would actually make her violent.

But then, she had never been tested like this. “And now you are criticizing me on my thoughts - forgive me for being a little offended.” Why was she the only one that was being called out? She wasn’t the only one at the meeting that had acted unprofessionally. Did Tembovu only think to go after her because he could bully her?

“That you are the king while these things happen. That is the part I dislike!” Hadn’t he been listening? She thought it arrogant of him to assume that the the number of members and foals in the Edge was somehow something he had accomplished all on his own. As if the population of herds did not naturally grow and decline in cycles. Or perhaps he had fathered all of those foals himself and he could take credit for increasing the population. She wouldn’t be surprised.

As he leaned into her she snapped, literally - her mouth reaching out to snap her teeth at him in warning to stay back as her black ears flattened against her head and she scrambled backward a few more hasty steps - bumping into a tree and shifting to the side to avoid it. Green eyes were rimmed with white as she recognized the danger and her heart was pounding. Her fear drove her anger as it had the last time they had spoke furiously with each other, wielding it as a shield so that it might give her strength enough not to back up or fall to her knees as they threatened to give way.

Her voice was a snarl as she reacted to his anger, even as she sought to back up. “What, do you want a prize for having control today? How kind of you not to roast me into oblivion, I’ll be sure to add you into my prayers tonight.”

He was already in them. Ever since she learned what he was capable of, she prayed every night that no one else would have to suffer his wrath. And she still believed that if she lured out enough of it onto herself, she could save them. Let him vent it now, burn her instead of burning them. Was this why the Moon Goddess had asked her if she would go through fire if it meant saving someone on the other side? Every time.

But now she was burning, rotting, from the inside and she didn’t know how to stop it.

alysanne